A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating this guy for a month, and we were sleeping together.We both went away over the Easter break and he said before we left that'd we'd see each other afterwards. Then when we both got back I texted him to ask if he wanted to meet up in this week. He said his week was already booked up and that he was probably going back home on the weekend so he'd let me know if he'd free up. I found this odd since he should at least be able to make a hour or two free for me especially since we live so close by. I responded and said I was only free tonight and booked up the rest of the week. He simply replied 'It's not possible for me'... I didn't reply and I haven't heard from him since (it's been two weeks now).It's clearly over but he just pisses me off - this is more me venting about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): Hi, I know how it is, it happened to me last year. I think they know what they were doing, thinking, they only think of their SELVES, they DON’T care. When IT'S over, they DON’T even think about you, you think about THEMSELVES all the time, you DON'T know how they can turn their feeling off like a light switch. I know how you are thinking IT'S like you talk to them AND they ANSWER you back in your head.I just wish you could turn them off like a light switch, but IF they come back, after about a month they will be gone again, saying it IS not going to work, they just like the idea, that you are still hurting.Men AND women can be cold hearted, hey they lost out, I never talk to an ex, why talk to someone like that? Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): Hey, so sorry but he a player. Hes charmed you and got what he wanted. Now hes moved on to his next victim. Essentially his excuses were like the old "Sorry Im washing my hair" routine. Ive never been one that puts out too soon and found that players dont stick around very long if I dont jump into bed with them. They turn on the charm, which isnt easy to resist. But you need to say to them. Sorry I aint that kind of gal. They then lose interest but you self respect remains intact.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): Him making excuses for not meeting was his way of letting you know that he didnt want to see you again. He got what he wanted way too soon. Guys can be strange in that they will try to bed you pretty much straight away. If they get it its a bonus but in their head you are not a keeper cos you put out way too soon, and wonder if you as a woman do this with every guy you date.
Hes not worth you energy to get angry with. See this as a life lesson. Dont sleep with anyone too soon it will weed out those who are serious and those who are not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): I am sorry to hear this and I can completely relate to your situation which I myself encountered in a previous relationship. I agree it is quite frustrating and upsetting. After investigating my situation I found out after a couple of months that my previous girlfriend was under the impression that what we had and what we were doing was supposed to be a FWB relationship. I don't know how she thought that. But it might be the same situation with you. Cant say for sure. But there may be some possible hints by his actions or lack of them. Anyways I learned what you may call a life lesson. The first lesson was to find out what exactly and what kind of relationship I was going to head into with this new love of my life. The second life lesson I learned was to communicate clearly and be a good listener. A lot of times our judgments get clouded and hidden from view. But by listening to your partner and mate they will normally get around to saying what they expect from a relationship involving yourself. My third life lesson was to put sex into its place with regards to a relationship. Though important it is not the be all and end all. And to regards to sex I learned to hold back and not get involved sexually for a couple dates. This if nothing else helped shake you down from the honeymoon phase of meeting and getting to know each other. It also pretty well spells out what this women you met really wants. It might be just sex. If that is all you can be rest assured she wont date you three times if you don't put out for her or vice versa. Yes there are some real a holes out there and unfortunately you were the victim in this case. Don't fret but move forward being a little more cautious knowing that all is never what it first appears to be. Good-luck..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 April 2013):
 he'll contact you when he's horny and you can say no thanks then...
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female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Sounds like a right tosser. Will undoubtedly let a bit of time pass and then call you. Don't sit around pining for this chap, get out there and meet someone new.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): Forget him. He didn't have the courage to say he didn't want to continue with whatever it was you had. A month isn't long so it wasn't a relationship really. I agree with others here and wouldsay wait a bit before getting intimate next time, then you know they are more likely to stick around.
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A
female
reader, Sassy1 +, writes (19 April 2013):
How long we're you together before sleeping with him? I think by knowing this answer you will see that you moved too fast. Some people have a hard time being honest and direct. Besides, had he told you directly that he did not want to see you anymore, would you feel any better? It is over. Take this as a lesson learned and move on. You sound bright and intelligent. You will find another partner and not make the same mistake. Good luck
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am. Next time don't put out until you have an established relationship.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 April 2013):
 Meh, seems like he is just a noob.
My advice, forget about this one. If he gets back in touch tell him to go fly a kite. At least you didn't waste more time with this one.
Maybe wait a little while longer before sleeping together? So you have an actual relationship before adding the sex? That way you are both sure what it is you got going. Could be this fella is assuming it's a FWB kind of thing and thus he doesn't have to end anything with you? Or he is just a coward.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): Yeah, people are dicks OP. The guy is either a coward or hoping he can pick you up at a later date with some bullshit explanation.
Either way just be happy you didn't end up with someone who is that much of a dick. I mean if he didn't have to go away then maybe he would have strung you along for longer.
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