A
female
age
30-35,
*rwho
writes:This past week and a half my girlfriend hasn't been acting the same and shes done nothing more than push me away, she picks fights for no reason and no matter what i say i'm a monster, there is no making her happy anymore and when i ask her whats wrong she says shes depressed, i can understand depression because i went through it for a very long time but no matter what way i approach her, be it about anything or just trying to be there for her she claims i say really nasty things that aren't true and she goes around telling people ive said things i haven't said.Today i discovered she in contact with an ex who was basically head over heels in love obsessed according to her, its the one ex i told her that if she ever spoke to him that it would be the end of us because of how he behaves and how inappropriate i believe it would be, regardless to what i feel she is in contact with him and she doesn't know i know shes in contact with him and i have to believe that this is the reasons shes been acting how she is.Shes speaking to me at the moment after ignoring me for this whole time and i haven't mentioned anything about what i know because i want to see if she will be honest with me or if she will keep this hidden from me and lie to me. So far shes kept it hidden and at times i can feel her been mean to me and i imagine this is out of guilt. Not only has she started been mean towards me but shes also began acting that way towards her family too. I'm really worried about how toxic shes become, its like she is turning into someone completely different and knowing she is lying to me really hurts.What do i do? If i say anything to her she wont listen, she will just not speak to me again because that's what shes always done rather than talk our problems out.We've been together a year, this is my first love and its really hard because i know i need to let her go because of how she treats me, not just this week but most of our relationship but i'm in love with her and that's what makes this seem so impossible because i'm scared to be without her.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (13 September 2013):
 She is being nasty because she wants to end the relationship, but she wants you to do it so she can come out the victim. The fact that she risked the relationship to contact her ex, tells you that she wants him back.
You really need to walk away from the relationship and block all contacts. You are fighting a losing battle to try and make things works as she is not interested , you can decide to walk away with your insanity intact or stay and become a door mat until she runs off with ex and you are left alone to nurse your wounds. Don't do this to yourself, you are worth more and deserve a lot better.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (13 September 2013):
You're not in love, you're insecure. Nothing bad will happen if you break up with her other than some sadness and loneliness for a relatively short period.
If you stay with her you'll continue to be made to feel insecure, you'll stress out, you'll get depressed, and ultimately she'll break your heart.
Be proactive. Breaking up with her will eliminate those negative feelings and free you up to find someone who is actually good for you and allows you to experience REAL love.
...............................
A
female
reader, PeachCobbler03 +, writes (13 September 2013):
 I think what you really need to be asking yourself is why are you making one person responsible for YOUR happiness? You're showing her exactly how to treat you, by allowing her to constantly mistreat you. What should you do? I think you should do what you told her you would do, which was if she ever spoke to her ex, it would be the end of you and her. If you've told her that contact with her ex is a deal breaker, and she's now contacting him, what does this tell you?
You mentioned that she was "toxic", so if you believe this to be true, then it might be a good idea to minimize contact with her, or completely cut her out of your life. You need to work on your self esteem and learn to love yourself. You know you deserve better treatment, so stop allowing her to mistreat you.
...............................
|
