A
male
age
41-50,
*r.Jones
writes:I have been with my fiancé for 12yrs and we haven't had sex for the last 11yrs. I feel way too insecure to have sex with her because I am very fat and I have a very small penis (less than 3" erect) but I don't want to leave as she is my best friend and to be honest I don't have any other friends at all. I have only become obese after we stopped having sex and am now 60kgs overweight. We haven't got married yet as we just don't see it as that important. Over the years from comments here and there I have found out that all of her ex's have had much larger than average penises and that she prefers a "big guy". I gave up on trying to have sex with her when I overheard her and her friend talking about me and she said that she didn't get anything from sex with me and that I was tiny. We don't speak about our non-existent sex life, and I think that the situation will not get any better. I have considered visiting a prostitute but I would feel weird and she controls all the money anyway. We get along very well but i can't relax with her sexually knowing that she thinks I am on the small side and not impressive. I have never had sex with anyone else and I am 40yrs old. I am starting to think that she might cheat on me one day because I have found out she still communicates with her ex and I know I can't compete with him. How do I make her attracted to me?
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best friend, fiance, her ex, insecure, money, overweight, prostitute, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 June 2015):
 You do know there is MORE to sex then penetration, right? You can SERIOUSLY please a woman and she can please you.... without actual intercourse.
11 years with no sex because you have a complex about the SIZE of your penis?! I'm amazed she is still with you.
You think ALL a woman cares about is the size of a man's dick? We are THAT shallow?
If she WANTED to be with her ex and his bigger penis, don't YOU think she would have left you a LONG time ago? There is something about you, maybe she loves you! *gasp* that makes her stay.
I think you NEED to stop with your current line of thought that the relationship and life itself revolves around your penis.
TALK to your fiance. Talk about that HUGE pink and purple elephant in the room (SEX) and either find a therapist to help you get over this whole "my penis is small so I can't have sex" issue, it's not exactly FAIR on your fiance.. or yourself.
In short! You have a below average penis.. BIG deal! You also have a mouth with a tongue, you have two hand (I presume) with 5 fingers each, there are PLENTY of little and big vibrating toys out there to experiment with, but your "logical" solution is to go see a prostitute?
HOW was that going to help? How could you POSSIBLY have SEX with a prostitute, a TOTAL stranger who SCREWS people for money over TALKING to your fiance and finding NEW ways to please each other?
YOU need to grow up.
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