A
female
age
18-21,
amabote
writes:Ok this is a long story but I could seriously use some help.The 26th of september I found out from my boyfriend how many girls he's slept with. I was a virgin before him and I wanted to know because I was curious. As he was telling me how many girls, it sort of seems he was boasting and I didn't really like that. It upset me especially how many girls he slept with to get over a girlfriend he had dated for 2+ years.Those feelings of upset really bugged me and they had reminded me of some of the feelings I had left to the previous boyfriend I had and that friday I ended up crying for a while because I was so mad. I tried to tell my boyfriend how it had upset me the things he had said but he told me he had only slept with girls to get over that first girlfriend and he ended up getting upset and needing to take a walk to clear his mind.I was still in a bad mood. Since I found out every girl he had sleep with, I was upset for a good week and a half. So the 5th of october, I was still upset at him but I don't think he knew. On the 5th of october, I bumped into my friend and one of his friends and he asked me if I wanted to drink. I said yes because I was mad at my boyfriend, I had just bumped into my exboyfriend and I had failed a big midterm that my grade really depended on and a midterm was coming up that I hadnt studied for. so i drank.I drank so much that I cannot remember what happened that night. People had to tell me. Apparently two guys kissed me but I only let them give me pecks on the lips.When I found out what happpened, I broke down because I really like, i think i love, my boyfriend. And I knew this was going to hurt him and I felt so guilty.So I told my boyfriend and I had to travel all the way to see him. I paid 35 dollars for a cab in the middle of the night. And we talked and he said he had two options in mind break up or give me a chance. He decided to try to give me a chance.We went on for two weeks. I thought he was giving me a chance. He had stayed over and he would kiss me. What I had wanted was for us just to chill for a bit and just to hang out and hopefully, slowly make our way back to boyfriend and girlfriend that trusted each other.But this past tuesday the 23rd, he got drunk and he called me up and he confessed how he had been feeling. He was hurt, so hurt, he told me he couldnt have sex with me because he just felt so much pain and he kept thinking she's kissed someone else. He tried to give me that second chance but he couldnt because it hurt him so much.So I called him back the next day when sober and he said he remembered what he had said and he was sorry that it had come out while drunk but that would've been the only way it would've come out.I told him I would give him time, and I need time. He said he didnt want me to wait but I said I would wait. That i want to gain back his trust that i'm not gonna give up. and he said he would appreciate that.I know he got drunk last night. He drunk texted me I dont really understand what he said but this morning I texted him to see if he was alright. He just told me he was and he cant remember the night but apparently he had fun and it was eventful.and now i'm not sure what to do. because i want to win him back. i feel like we need to talk face to face.tonight is a halloween party we're both attending. i really need to talk to him.anyone please give me some advice.i'm sorry this is so long
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): ok i read it all and i think STOP DRINKING i mean thats the whole reason you two are over the drinking if you didnt drink you would not get drunk. But if you cant stop drinking no boy will love you oh and if somone asked to take drugs or smoke what would you say? Dont do it to look cool its so not cool its crushing your future have sex after married dont drink smoke or take drugs you can kiss whenever you want, HOPE I HELPED
A
female
reader, amabote +, writes (17 August 2008):
amabote is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthing is he still brought them up in conversation. little hits about what they did together and stuff, thats why i was upset.
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A
female
reader, amabote +, writes (13 November 2007):
amabote is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have asked for forgiveness. I know what i did was wrong.
He said what we both need is space.
does that mean he'll ever come back?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): 1. He has slept with other girls. So what. They're in the past. Sex is just sex for guys- for girls there is emotional attachment (often- not always)- for guys it's just sex, it doesn't mean he loved these women, or even that he "enjoyed" them, it was just an orgasm for him, and a way to erase this other girl from his memory. It was immature and dumb but he's young (assuming he's close in age to you) and he probably doesn't think about them anymore. He's with you. End of story.2. You kissed two other guys. Oh well! It was just a peck on the lips, and it didn't mean anything. If your boyfriend can, he will forgive you and move on eventually. 3. You two are a mess when drunk, I'm sorry to say... maybe you both should stop drinking for a while, boozing like that does nothing good for a relationship. 4. Maybe you should break it off and enjoy single life for a while. Have sex with other men, see what it's like. You're young and obviously distraught. Maybe this man just isn't good for you.
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