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female
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anonymous
writes: hello,I am really struggling to get over my ex. I have a new boyfriend who is lovely, and have been with him for 4 months now, yet I still find myself feeling so low and crying about the loss of my ex.My ex was the first person i have loved and even though he didnt treat me too well in the end i still feel like he is the one. Whenever he goes out for a drink he phones and texts to tell me he still likes me and wants me, and wants to marry me and me to live with him. But the rest of the time he is so unreliable and doesnt have time for me after his work and training, hence the end of the relationship. I cant give up all contact as he is my friend as well as my ex and I genuinely want him to be happy - though it wont be with me. We only send a text every couple of weeks - limiting contact. I am trying to move on with my new bloke, who i am beginning to really fall for and my feelings are developing more each day. I am happy with my boyfriend so why do i feel sad that my first relationship didnt work out? I want to be able to give myself fully to my new chap - but i still seem to be harbouring this feeling that the ex is the one.Do you think eventually over time those feelings will go and i will be able to fall in love with my new boyfriend?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): relax, i was in exactly your situation just over 2years ago. My ex was my first love we were together for amost 5 years and we split when I was 19. It was a serious relationship, i loved him so much, but in the end we were different people from when we first got together and we ignored this fact and he eventually left me for a girl who lived opposite me! I got with my current bloke weeks after this and for months - i'd say 6mnths atleast i was so hung up over my ex, i'd get drunk and cry every weekend without fail, and he used to call and text me...and visit my family while i was there. As time went by i started to fall in love more and more with my new boyfriend an my feelings for my ex started to fade. almost 3yrs on now, i am still with my new bf, m ex has had a string of girlfriends, about 12 or so since me, and he now has a 6 month old daughter too!
As for me, i feel fine about it. I must confess when i found out he was gonna be a dad i had a little cry as we had talked about marriage and babies and i thought that should hsve been me and him. But now I accept it, and i know i have the best boyfriend in the world,
I'm a firm believer things happen for a reason. If you 2 were meant to be together you would never have split up. Feeligs cant just be switched on and off it dos take time, but i am sure you will get over him. You will look back some day soon and it will all seem like a distant dream.xxx hope this helps
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