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I just want to go to the party and make him wish he hadn't done what he had done, am I being stupid?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2015) 11 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm going to a party on Sunday night and my ex boyfriend is going to be there. He cheated on me a couple of weeks ago and stupidly I want him back. He hasn't called or text since we split up and I just want to go to the party and make him wish he hadn't done what he had done, am I being stupid?

View related questions: cheated on me, hasn't called, my ex, split up, text

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A female reader, Annie.panda United Arab Emirates +, writes (18 April 2015):

Girl, make him come begging at your feet then reject him because you know what if he deserved you even a tiny bit, he wouldnt have cheated on you!!

Trust be go to that party like a sexy diva! Go with a man better! Dont even look at him the whole time and if he comes to you ignore him and give him the silent treatment.

The more you play hard to get the more he runs after you!

But mainly love youself.... 3 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2015):

I don't think it is stupid of you to WANT him back OP, but I think it is very stupid to TAKE him back.

If you want to go to that party go. Have fun. Chat & laugh with friends and other men. Don't associate with the ex. Make sure you look great, hair done, nice outfit.

Let him eat his heart out, and give yourself an ego boost.

Do not talk, look, or reminise with the ex though, that will ruin the whole game.

Best of luck! Get your groove back!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 April 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYes you are being stupid.

He's made it clear he's a liar, he's a cheater. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.

To be honest in my opinion it's just too soon for you to be at a party with him, and handle it well since you want him back.

I would find a reason to not go to the party if you could as I do not think it's going to go well for you if you do go.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntYep I'm with Cindy.

YOU are so not over him and THAT will make you do something you KNOW isn't smart.

Going to a party and "hope" you can show him what he is missing? It's NOT going to happen. He won't care. He didn't CARE about how cheating would affect you and the relationship, he CERTAINLY won't care at a party.

I would NOT go.

And why on EARTH would you want that scumbag back?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (17 April 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt Uh that's a disaster waiting to happen.

My crystal ball says that, based on wishful thinking, you'll put on the Eitz, dress too skimpy, wear too much make up, go to the party, act too happy , drink too much, laugh too loud, dance too seductively, in the attempt to impress your cheating ex ; all this while still reeking of longing , vulnerability and desperation. He'll perceive that, which, combined with his n alcohol fueled hornyness, will make him take you back to his place for a ) an NSA hook up which will leave you feeling like s..t b ) a hook up followed by a short, tempestous " second chance " which will only last until he cheats on you again, and breaks your heart some more. Wanna bet ?

Are you being stupid ?... Let's say that I am sure you can be smarter than that.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (17 April 2015):

llifton agony auntShowing up and trying to "act casual" will only wreak of desperation and he will be able to see right through it. I wouldn't do it, if I were you. I think it will most likely backfire and make you look desperate, and make him feel good in knowing you still care and he has you right where he wants you.

If you really are considering wanting to patch things up, why not actually communicate with him about how you're feeling? If he's not interested and has moved on, then you'll have your answer. But no sense in beating around the bush and playing games. It will probably not work.

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A female reader, jls022 United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2015):

It's not stupid to feel like that, but it's not going to help you in the long term. You can do WAY better than some scumbag who cheated on you then did nothing to try to make it up to you. It's hard but I think you need to let this one go, and look for someone who knows the meaning of love and fidelity.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2015):

I understand how you are feeling that it's so unfair and you want so much for him to see what he lost by letting you go. But you need to realize the relationship is over. You need to move on. It's true that the best revenge is to be the first to move on and live your life well.

You can do better than him. One day, when you find that special someone, you'll look back and realize it was the right thing to do to end this relationship.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (17 April 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntYes. You are being stupid.

You won't be able to make him wish he hadn't done what he had done.

Stop trying to alter his thinking or reactions, and deal with yours.

Here's a hint: the best revenge is living well.

It's a very old saying. But it works.

The best revenge is living well.

Start living well.

:)

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (17 April 2015):

It's only stupid if you don't want him to cheat on you. If you like being cheated on our at the very least you put up with it, then it's not that bad of an idea.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 April 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntYour word not mine...stupidly. Why not just skip out and let go of this loser. You wat to punih him? then disappear and make him wonder what's going on. Don't be stupid. Get smart and ditch thebum for good.

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