A
female
age
18-21,
*Jess*
writes:Hi guys, I haven't posted a question for quite a long time now, because everything seemed to be going right for once. But I guess and 'up' is always followed by a 'down'. Its just that I'm finding it quite difficult at the moment because recently I keep getting a feeling of distance between quite a few people in my life. Well, its been building up for quite some time actually. Do you ever get it when you feel like you can't quite reach someone (for example, say your friend and yourslf keep arguing, but you want to try and fix things so everything is nice again) and the more you try and fix it and reach them so you can be close with them again, the further away they seem to become. This probably doesn't make sense. I think its because I'm going to uni in september so the closest people to me, my best friend and my parents, are pushing me away so that it doesnt hurt so much when I leave. I also think they are finding it difficult that I'm growing up (this is more my parents but I think my friend is finding it hard that I'm changing because I've known her for a long time). But the thing is, its making me feel really down because I feel like I'm losing the support of the people I need the most. Sorry for blabbing, just don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I was hoping maybe for some advice on how to make them see that I'm the same and how I can get close to them again, it feels like their whole attitudes have changed towards me but I'm not doing anything different. I've always been a firm believer in 'talking it out' but my parents aren't really like that, especially my dad but I haven't really been close to him for a long time because he has had depression since I was twelve (I'm 18 now) so he's difficult to be close with. But I used to be really close to my mum and thats what hurts the most, lately it seems like shes always mad at me, always snappy and abrupt like I'm in the way or I'm an inconvenience in some way and she always acts like I've done something wrong. All I want is a hug and for her to tell me everything is ok. I need her and I need my best friend and I try to get back in but its really difficult when they keep pushing me away, its hard to try and be lovely and nice and get close to them when they aren't treating you in the same way. But you know that they used to be like that with you and all you want to do is get that relationship back. I'm sorry for blabbing on, I'm just really confused and upset and I don't know what I can do to fix this. Any advice would be really helpful, I just need someone elses perspective. Thank you for reading. xxx
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female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (8 March 2008):
 The truth is that parents and good friends will always be there for us, when we need them. But, as life goes on, we need each other a bit less and then a bit more at other times... You know?
They are still your family and friends, but they also have lives of their own and your mum might just be stressed out about other stuff!
Let them know you are there for them when they need you and learn to accept that, sometimes, you just need to be the strong and indipendent one, who others can realy on for support.
As for your best friend, it is natural for people to grow apart, as their interests and lifestyles change. I am still very close to my two best friends I've known since childhood, but we rarely see each other, because we've moved to different areas... some of us have travelled around the world... we just have different lives, now, but we still love each other! It's just all part of growing up!
I hope I've helped a bit.
God bless you and good luck!
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