A
female
age
30-35,
*edfordgal07
writes:My boyfriend and I have been talking about having sex. Everytime we get the opportunity, I am ready to do it, I just get a feeling that makes me change my mind. He and I are both virgins, and obviously we would both be nervous, but I have a huge fear that I wont be any good, and wont be able to please him or he'll not want to do it again because it wont be what he was expecting. I just need to know if it is just me, and everything will be fine or if it is gonna be a disaster?
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female
reader, Miss_Oz  +, writes (2 June 2007):
 I'm afraid you won't know what it will be like until you do it. If you are both virgins then there will probably be a little akwardness to start with but not necessarily. Your fear of not pleasing him is common and he is more than likely worried about the same thing, plus he will likely have the added worries of 'Will I be able to stay hard?' 'Will I hurt her?' 'What if I don't last long enough?' He doesn't have anything to compare you to, so he isn't going to really know what's bad or good; though I can tell you that as his first, you will always be special for that, no matter if there are hurdles to get over. If you are both really ready, then that's great; make sure you indulge in plenty of foreplay, which will relax you both and prepare you for penetration; keep communication open, make sure you let him know if you're not enjoying something or if something is uncomfortable and make sure he knows to tell you if he doesn't feel right. Don't be negative, praise him on anything that feels good to boost his confidence; notice little things you do that make him react positively. Relaxing and feeling comfortable are key elements to first-time sex. If it isn't going well, you can stop and try again in a little while. If it turns out that you both have an amazing experience, then that's wonderful. Either way, just take your time to enjoy one another and don't worry about your ability to please; remember that you have plenty of time to discover all the things that the both of you enjoy, just make sure and communicate them.
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