A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I dont know what to do about my current situation, I've went through many hard times in my life, as most everyone does, and I feel emotionally "un-fit." I've been with my lover for almost a year and a half and we've also had our share of up's and down's. But for the last few months (maybe 1-3) I think I have split-personalities. One of them is a seductress who all she wants is to make love all day...everyday, and gets upset when it doesnt work out. The second one is I would say a control freak, putting so many restraints and restrictions on him, to keep him close (I have a major jealousy issue.)A third side that feels hardly any love and uses him to get the things she wants (flowers,dinner, etc.) And finally the "real me" That loves him so much with all my heart, body, and soul but realizes what the other sides of me are doing, and cries. This is the person I really do intend on spending the rest of my life with, and I cant bare what the other "me's" are doing to him, to us. We really cant afford therapy at the moment. Please help, what can I do to control these other sides of me so we can just start enjoying our relationship again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): I'm a psychologist and I really think you should see a therapist as soon as possible. You are in an age range where psychopathology could be developing. Answer this questions: Have someone in your family (parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.) suffered or is suffering from any mental health issue? Where you raped as a child? If you've answered yes to one or both of these questions the possibilities of developing mental health problems are greater for you. Diagnosis can only be given by professionals when you have underwent therapy but look for other symptoms like irrational thoughts, extreme and constant mood swings on the internet so you get closer to a possible diagnosis and get to know the importance of therapy. Maybe you can speak to your school counselor. Look for community mental health programs that are free. A lot of universities that offer Clinical Psychology Majors have their internship students working for free on their Campus maybe you can benefit form one of those. I also suggest you take a natural supplement to balance your brain chemistry so you can feel more "normal". All psychopathology is due to unbalanced brain chemistry. I suggest Neu becalmd' Its' sold online and I've been using it for more than three years now and it works, I promise. By the way I don't work for them. I tend to be very moody, disorganized, forgetful and kind of depressed and this helps me a lot. So much I don't need medication for my ADD (Atention Deficit Disorder). Yes Psychologists get that too. Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): There are local walk in clinics that provide counselling for free. I would advise you to look into that. You could always reference the yellow pages under psychologists and make some calls to ask for free clinics.
You need the support and guidance to get you to a strong emotional and mental state where the "real you" can be in control.
You need to identify your triggers of why you would revert into the different personalities.
It does indeed sound like you have experienced the worse kinds of abuse as a child. You will need therapy for this.
You need to remember that your bf is not a parent and can not subsitute your hungry needs for what you lacked in your childhood. This puts high expectations on him and will have you both suffering from let down/disappointment.
Dividing your emotional and physical feelings for so long have taken their toll.
Do you have money to invest in finding outlets where you can let out your anger, pain, fears in a constructive way that doesn't have you hurting yourself or you partner?
What are your expectations in a relationship? What do you define as being your role? What would you define as his role?
You will need a caring, professional who will provide a safe environment for you where you can deal with your childhood in order to heal yourself, recover and build the "real you", and prepare yourself to be an accoutable adult who feels and knows she is in control of her destiny.
Best Wishes.
*hugs*
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