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I have only ever had 3 girls interested in me! How do I get my self-esteem up off the ground?

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Question - (23 April 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *eedofhelp77 writes:

im a young adult, have been in a relationship for 3 years and my self esteem is the lowest it has ever been. i feel soo ugly its eating me up and there is very little i can do about it. it never used to bother me before it was just something i could push to the side without a worry but now its killing me i cant stand it no more. have felt like this for 2 years not but its not getting any better. in my whole life i have only had 3 girls interested in me and compared to other guys that is absolutly nothing. how do i get my low esteem off the ground and feel good about myself again?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010):

You need to understand that you are not ugly. Maybe it is just me, but (and don't judge me by this) I'm sixteen, attractive and generally normal - yet I really like these guys who I think are gorgeous but many of my friends don't like them...and I don't understand why because to me they are reaaaaally attractive :/ So it depends on the person really. I feel attractive because I know I AM attractive to the majority of the human race! :) You most definitely are too, and although this is not really advice...I hope it makes you feel better. I mean, maybe this isn't the best example, but take a look at the attractive celebrities, and go ask a few women what they prefer and they will all have different views. For example I HATE George Clooney, but everyone else I know does. But I love Robert Downey Jr, which quite a lot of other people do too apart from my twin sister.

Just goes to show doesn't it? :)

Just learn to love yourself, because you're worth loving - every muscle a boxing champion has in his body you have too and in the end you could be better than him...in personality, in looks (you can have U-G-L-Y fit guys, if that makes sense :/ )

Love ya! Have a good life!

Kazz

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A male reader, needofhelp77 United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2010):

needofhelp77 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

wow thats great advice thankyou so much! but partiatly the reason as to why i feel like that is because i feel like my gf doesnt feel attracted to me, she barely ever compliments me. if i send her a picture or something like that she just say's a few things and then never talks about it again thats what really puts doubts in my head, therefore making me feel like this. i do work out and have been doing so for many years now along with living a healthy lifestyle but i have doubts that shes interested in other guys instead

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A male reader, Brunel Wallis and Futuna +, writes (24 April 2010):

Only three arn't you the lucky one. You need to step outside the box and take up any new interest. Sod the gym it is all our USA cousins can think of. Look at a couple of local clubs cycling, amdramatics, adult activities. Go and work in a charity shop, maybe get your hair cut/grow it. Get some new clothes - not expensive even charity stuff if money is an issue and completely change your image and clothing colours.

Cycling clubs are great as the females in many cases are as as fit as a buthcers dog, with firm and subtle legs? Just pull out of this self pity now?

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (24 April 2010):

YouWish agony auntI'm with Twinlab. Go to the gym! The workouts alone will make you feel like you're on top of the world. And greasy fast food will make you want to kill yourself. It clogs your arteries, your brain, your libido. It's amazing what a change in diet will do to your self-esteem, your sense of power, and your overall attitude!

I would also say - get a good hobby and become really good at it. Tae Kwon Do, basketball, or Dungeons and Dragons if you're a geek. :) Be good in a skill or hobby (music is a huge girl magnet) and your outlook will be dramatic.

When you do approach a girl, remember - you're not desparate.

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A male reader, twinlab99 United States +, writes (24 April 2010):

twinlab99 agony auntDude, take up the gym (and dieting). Build up a little. Girls love ripped dudes. But the diet is the most important. YOu will get your confidnce up...and get a lot of attention to.

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