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I have huge mental blocks regarding finding a partner but I really want one

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Question - (23 June 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *ere2Help! writes:

Hello all, I turned 18 last year and I'm still a virgin. I crave to be with someone, preferably another girl. I'm just scared. I've tried posting ads and online "dating" sites but I never go through with anything. My main issues are

1. I'd get caught... my parents would end me.

2. I'll catch something.

3. I'll end up with a serial killer.

4. The other person will change their mind once they see me (not exactly attractive...)

5. I'll regret not letting my first time be with someone special.

I've never felt pressure to have sex but I'm horny all of the time and need someone to satisfy me.

Any advice is appreciated... what would you do? Thanks

View related questions: horny, still a virgin

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntLet's go through your five points shall we?

1. Why would your parents end you? What is your fears, please explain more so we can help.

2. Catching an STI is a fear for everyone hence why safe sex is important. So if you are unsure off anything ask your local nurse.

3. If you are scared off this, then maybe try meeting people personally instead off going down the online route. Have you no hobbies where you could meet love interests? If meeting someone from the internet always make sure you meet in a public place and let someone know where you are going.

4. If you are online dating then be true to yourself and add a photo so you will only be contacted by people who find you attractive.

5. You should have your first time with someone special. Hold out, am sure you can satisfy yourself until someone special comes along.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2017):

I would suggest that you try to meet someone who you would actually want to get to know. It found it difficult when I realised I wanted to be with another woman as I had no gaydar! I went online and started messaging a few people and just got to know them. Eventually I asked one girl to meet in person. I understand your worries but you need to put yourself out there.

I was scared when I came out but my friends and family were really accepting.

There is a difference between meeting someone just for sex and finding a relationship. Sex outside a relationship is different as you won't have developed trust together; I think it's important to be sure about the person before making the leap.

When you meet someone who likes you for you, they won't be preoccupied with how you look.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntSo, I have to ask... WHY would your parents "end" you if you started dating?

Do you have a social life at all? Do you work or go to school? Do you participate and meet other people that way?

Why is online dating your first option when you are so unsure?

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