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I have found out that my BF exchanges numbers with females and texts, sexts, calls them.

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 December 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have found out that my BF exchanges numbers with females and texts, sexts, calls them. I have confronted him numerouse times and he claims they mean nothing. I even beleive that he may have cheated to but dont have any solid proof but only when i contact the females some of them have told me that they are the other woman and tells me that they have had sex with him. Dont know whether to beleive then or not because if I were the other woman, i would keep that from a GF so I may continue to secretly have sex with the guy. Anyway, thats another issue. Since this has been going on, I have been bitter and angry and as payback to him I have started texting, sexting, and have cheated on him several times with a close male friend, once with a female. Only as a payback to throw in his face that he is not the only one who can hurt someone they love. I have sext my BF to spark the flame but he wont reply to them. I have initiated sex and he sometimes tells me he is tired. I am very attractive and go to the gym daily to stay fit. I dress well and never let myself go. Male friends say I'm hot and dont understand why my bf would even do this to me. We've been together bout 4 years and we are in our 40's. We sometimes even go several weeks without sex and I want it daily. I have even purchased several toys to satisfy myself and have let him know this. He believes in his heart I would never cheat on him. I have been very loyal to him until now. I love him to death but I have needs that are not being met. I am craving LOVE, ATTENTION, and AFFECTION. So I decided to let him know what I have done hoping that maybe it will show him that what he does I can do better, in hopes to make him think about what he has and stop his ways. Now he is not speaking to me and dont know what is possibly going through his mind. He stayed out very late last night and came home extremely drunk and wouldnt pick up his phone. He gets drunk when he is depressed. I was very angry at text him very mean texts. HELP

View related questions: depressed, drunk, spark, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

This is not the type of woman I am. Why do I love Him so much? I know the best thing to do is to leave him and move on but how do i do that? i leave and im sick not being with him and he'll wait a few weeks and starts calling me that he wants to work things out. He plays wit my emotions. I was packing the other day and he wanted me to leave without taking anything so we got into a huge fight where he dragged me out the apt by my hair. i managed to fight him off and was able to grab my bag of clothes. The fights have gotten worse and are more physical. i should hate him and i dnt. Why do i still have feelings for him after all this? he has been humiliating me more and more and i dnt know what to do. i have become one of those women who is stuck in a violent relationship. i dnt want to ever be with him but my heart is aching for him. im afraid to tell anyone what i am going thru because i am so ashamed

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010):

i agree why put yourselves through all this? to be honest if you knew he was cheating and sexting other women you should of left, but you sunk down to his level by cheating on him too, if you wanted all this needs and felt like gettin them elsewhere then you should of left him first, and now you're both angry at eachother, and its not healthy, you both need to realise it isnt working out and move on, nothing justifies cheating.

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A female reader, sammi star United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2010):

sammi star agony auntI agree with dirtball. That's exactly what I was going to say...two wrongs don't make a right!

You say he might have cheated but in my opinion he already has! He broke the trust and went behind you're back when he was sexting these women and now there's no way that you can tale the moral high ground seeing as you've sttoped to the same level.

It doesn't sound as if there's anything of a relationship left to work at, get out now for both your sakes.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (22 December 2010):

dirtball agony auntLeave. Why continue to torture each other? This is extremely unhealthy for both of you.

Two wrongs don't make a right. They never have, and they never will.

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