A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my boyfriend and i have ben going out for 3 years now and i have a problem saying the words "I love you" i really like him, hes a good guy. Also i have never ben able to say these words to anyman and i thought i just havent met the right person or maybe i never will.What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Maybe you just don't know what real love is? It could also be that when you were younger, you were brought up in a household where family members found it difficult to express themselves in this way. Maybe you've been really hurt in the past where relationships were concerned or it might just be that you're not sure what "true love" is...? I'll give you my definition of what true love is, see if this is how you feel...
If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
Is THIS how you feel about the man you're with? If it is then there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to tell him... unless of course, deep down you're scared it will be too commital and you'll feel a fool if things don't work out for you in the end.
Eve
A
female
reader, cherry123 +, writes (22 February 2007):
i dont think that this doesnt mean you dont love your boyfriend maybe this is just something you find hard to say when i had my first real relationship which is still ongoing and has been for 4 years i couldt say i love you but this was because i had never had anyone say this to me very often just my family but you will find over time this will come just try to be cuddly show affection this is another way of saying i love you
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