New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I have been waiting 17 months for him to leave his partner and move in with me!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *arie123 writes:

Well I'm in great need of help and advise, I'm 23 I have a good job and my own place, here's where the problem starts.. I have been seein this guy now for 17 month he's 10 years older than me but he acts the same age we get on so well when we're together, however he's got a partner of 13 years, when we first met I wasn't that fussd for him but as weeks went on he told me he had fallen in love with me. At the time I was livin with my parents he said we should get a place of our own so I did just that I paid for it all and just waited for him t leave his partner and 17 month on he hasn't left, no our relationship has gone very rocky we're always falling out resently I had received a txt from his phone sayin "your taller than I remember we'll have to get a hotel can't wait for sexy time" he tryd tellin me that his cousin had used his phone and sent the txt t me by mistake I didn't belive him so I finishd it, the folloeing day I went out for a drink with another guy that he knew when he found out he went mad we argued but then ended up gettin back together. In the summer of last year I fell pregnant to him he was so happy whn I told him but the followin day it came clear that he wantd to abort the baby and that's what I did he said he wantd things t b perfect whn we have kids so I took that as gospil and dreamd of our perfect familey. I feel now that he doesn't love me and I should walk away but its so hard he says he hasn't left his partner yet becos he doesn't trust me fully, I'm always here for him no matter what a lot of people in our area no where togther so how his partner hasn't found out yet is beond me, I really don't no what t do I love him t bits and want t spend the rest of my life with him. I always shower him with gifts and help him out with money he's never really helpd me in any way or showerd me with gifts I know its not about all that but girls like gifts now an then! I really don't no what to do please help.. X

View related questions: cousin, money

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, DarkChild70811 United States +, writes (6 July 2010):

Married/partnered men will tell you whatever they thing you want to hear. I did it for 6 years he was married. He would talk about his wife and tell me negative stuff about her. I believed him like a fool. I talked to his wife near the end of what I thought was a relationship and none of it was true. We both ended it with him. I was so in love with this womans husband I'm sad to say. I have been married for 20 years now and after that disaster with the married man I said I would never do it again. He was not going to leave her. You my sweetie I am sorry to say are in the same boat I was.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, loraemoon United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2010):

loraemoon agony aunthunny he wont leave her hes using you for all the things you give him, hes getting what he wants from both sides,as for him to tell you to abort your baby well thats shouting it out he didnt want any commitments because to be honest he doesent know what he wants , if he really was going to leave her he really would of done by now,hun i was in the same position,and again he got what he wanted but never ended it completly with her it wont work you will always be waiting for something that probaly even yourself can see will never happen, i know you love him and it is hard but the best thing you can do is to walk away, truth be told hes cheating on her to be with you, if he was with you ask yourself would he be cheating on you for someone else???most probaly its really not worth the pain!!! That i know to well isnt worth it good luck x

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2010):

He's using you. He won't leave her. And even of he did, there is only a 12% chance that it would work out between you. You're wasting your time with a cheat. End it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, hannah76 United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2010):

hannah76 agony auntHello,

He will NEVER leave his partner. NEVER EVER. Trust me. This site is full of this type of question and the same responses as these help advise the poster. I'm sorry, but you need to get out of this quickly and run to the hills! Hannah.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (5 July 2010):

xanthic agony auntHe's never going to leave her, especially when you're giving him everything without getting anything in return. It's a convenient arrangement for him, why would he have any incentive to change it now?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010):

this man will NEVER leave his common law wife. you are merely his dirty secret and you will remain so until you wise up and decide to clean up your life. you knew from the start this man was with another woman and yet you still moved on with him. you will continue in this manner until he tires of you, if not already. you had an abortion at his conniving insistence, you are either very naive or too trusting.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (5 July 2010):

Denise32 agony auntOh lawd. He's NEVER, NEVER, NEVER gonna leave his partner.

He's been with her for 13 years now; he's 10 years older than you.

Please, don't let him make a fool out of you! Sorry to put it like that, but this man is USING YOU for sex, period.

The proof of this is in your own words: "I love him to bits; I help him out with money; I shower him with gifts, but he's never helped me."

Any DECENT guy would be ashamed to have a woman do all this for him and treat her with such disrespect!!

It doesn't have to be so very difficult to walk away from a jerk like him and not look back!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, kahlan United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2010):

kahlan agony auntHe,s using you. No it,s not all about gifts but it says something that its all one sided. Please end it with this at least 2 timing toerag(i can think of a lot of better names for him but you can't swear on this site). I have no doubt he's seeing other lassies apart from you and his partner. He wants his cake and eat it or whatever that saying is. Im sorry you have had to go through an abortion. I hope you have people who can support you through this.Unless his Missus chucks him out, he will never leave her for you, and even if he did you'd never be able to trust him. You deserve a guy who will love you,treat you right and make you happy.Someone who would be a good dad.It's time to put yourself first for once.

Good luck

Love Kahlan

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I have been waiting 17 months for him to leave his partner and move in with me!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.031270499996026!