A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:this is a weird problem to be honest,and im not sure if i can explain it properlybut, here it goes ...About six months ago,the teacher [Miss X] i was head-over-heels for found out that i had been .. stalking her, so to speak.Within the next few months, i began to notice things out of the corner of my eye, people watching me, people listening into my conversations and making diversions.Miss X's best friends and fellow members of staff.At first - i must admit - i thought i was going crazy! I was just being paranoid, nothing more, nothing less. I tried to block out the feelings of sickness as i walked through the corridors. This was insane. No-one was watching me! Then, one day i was coming out of class, and noticed that two of Miss X's teacher-friends were standing in the EXACT, REMOTE spot of the school that i wait for my mate at. Coincidence, i hear you cry? Nope. They stared at me till i had no choice but to leave Miss X's floor. I was so embarrassed and guilt-ridden. I didnt know what to do!Six months along the line,its changed for the worse.Most of my teachers are in on it.They listen in to what im saying and E-MAIL Miss X if ive mentioned her or if i leave the classroom to go to the toilet or whatever. Theyve affectionately been called the "Dyke Patrol".I need to know how to stop them,how to act, what to say and to whom.These guys are supposed to be professional teachers!Im actually scared to go to school,i got in trouble for walking past that floor the other day ):im so heartbroken!!!Any advice is welcome,PLEASE reply,ta xO
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best friend, heartbroken, my teacher, stalking Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): I know how you feel. I have the exact same problem. I'm madly in love with my "Mrs.X" except she's married and has a daughter my age, which makes me feel more guilty. When You Love someone you know you can't have, it's the worst feeling in the world. Stalking is the closest you can ever get. Like hitting a punch bag when you're angry, not someone else.
But the other teachers don't know I love mrs. x luckilly, I'm very discrete, but I know Mrs. X can see right through me, it's just so obvious, she knows me too well. She doesn't say anything, and I think she's a little flattered honestly. I'm going to tell her on my last day. But she did say that next week she wants to "sit in front of me and watch me do it" she meant coursework, but maybe she didn't.
What You need to do is be less obvious. And if they listen to what you're saying, then use this to your advantage in making them believe that THEY are paranoid. Talk to a friend about "Your New Boyfriend" infront of the teachers, maybe even infront of miss x.It'll throw them right off. say it's a long distance relationship, that's why nobody knows him. That's what I did. My Mrs. X was walking up behind me and my friend, and I had just hung up on my northern friend (who actually exists), and I said loudly "I LOVE HIS SEXY VOICE" (actually true, he does). Mrs. X smiled and said "Who's voice?" and then walked off a little sad. but then I "Dumped him".
Get to know Miss X's routine, then you can stalk her without being on the floor, like for instance know when she's on lunch or break duty, when she walks past somewhere at a certain time, etc.
Limerence, that describes it perfectly. And don't worry about being paranoid, You have to be, you're entitled to be under these circumstances. You're not sick or wierd, that's the attitude of people who say "get over it". People who say that have never had to deal with it themselves and have no idea how hard it is to get over.
Don't feel bad about taking a pen, everybody takes pens anyway. I once took someone else's post-it cause mrs. X had written on it. I bought a £10 calender just because it had her picture on it. Maybe keeping a diary/journal of miss x events will help you. Look on the bright side, stalking her is ok because it's an outlet for your feelings towards her and it doesn't result in her losing her job or breaking the law.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Sorry for misunderstanding, thanks for the clarification. I don't think either of us our psychic so I've no idea what they might be talking about, and certainly not the specifics. I am sure they as friends exchange a number of emails and despite the suspicious behavior you can't be certain they are talking about you unless you've actually seen them (not just if you suspect or someone tells you but if you actually physically for yourself see them). Really the best you can do is stop obsessing over them (if they want to keep obsessing about you let it be their issue), work on moving on with your life, start socializing with your peers, focus on school, maybe join a club if you aren't involved with one, if you don't feel like being at that school more see if your mum won't let you take dance or martial arts or something that outside of the school, spend time with your family, talk to that therapist so he/she can help with the paranoia, take care of yourself, and mostly enjoy your youth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks (:
id also like to point out
(as i clearly havent explained this properly)
they are NOT looking through MY emails!
theyre mailing each OTHER,
through their own accounts :L.
i know this because Miss X goes on her computer,
and suddenly a member of the patrol is up the stairs
like a shot and they both stare at me!
im not making this up!
other people have noticed as well
sorry for my bad explination!
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): If your guidance teacher is no help (I mean what kind of advice is get over this, if you could easily I think you would've) is there someone else you can talk too unaffiliated with the school? A therapist someone to help you deal with all this? If you are paranoid you know that at least some things might get exaggerated in your mind, like the reading through your emails bit. Try and keep that in mind. Question it out: Is it possible for them to have access to my email/password even if they had such access would they really go so far as to check my emails? To what end, I mean what purpose would that even serve for them? These teachers do have lives, while they might be being over-protective overly cautious, its not likely for someone to go that far generally speaking. Meds may help keep your paranoia in check, b/c paranoia is very painful and difficult to deal with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits not rubbish!!
i just .. i did some terrible stuff :$
i took pics of her once or twice.
and took a pen cause she touched it :$$$
& used to pass her classroom at any oppertunity.
i know its ridiculous!i know youll think im sick and weird!
but im not ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
... limerence (i)
i know thats what it is!
yeah, im REALLY paranoid,
my guidance teacher told me to "get over this"
so shes no help tbh.
Thanks xx
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A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (8 May 2008):
 Awwww hun that's awful!!! I really feel your pain. The only way to get the teachers' respect is to STOP stalking her, I know it's hard (i've been there) but this is really serious! Also stop talking about the teacher, if you wanna talk about her to your friends then do it on the quiet without any teachers around! Otherwise the reality is that you'll be reported and well... things could turn nasty! It's happened with me, but it was for a different reason. And I can't express enough how much it hurt me, And despite it being dealt with in rather a harsh way I sometimes get the impression he hates me! And that could happen to you if you're not careful!
Mail me if you wanna chat xx
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A
female
reader, Leanna +, writes (8 May 2008):
 You need to get yourself to a professional to sort out the paranoia you've got going on.
How on earth would you know that they email her about you?
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A
female
reader, Leanna +, writes (8 May 2008):
What a load of rubbish.
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A
female
reader, myownadvocate  +, writes (8 May 2008):
Are you certain the word "stalking" is the correct word to describe YOUR actions?... If indeed that word is suitable, your teachers actions are warranted. The word stalking, in this case meaning "to pursue or proceed in a steady or sinister mannner," does not reflect positively on you. My suggestion would be you take the appropriate actions that will allow everything to die down. Any further pursual or interest in this teacher is bound to end with serious negative consequences for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Well if you were in fact stalking her, then as her friends they would naturally be concerned and protective. Teachers can get in a lot of trouble if a student makes advances on them, they could even lose their job. You haven't really described your behavior, where you violating her privacy? Making advances? Hanging out around her house? Calling/emailing/writing excessively? Did you make threats? Steal things from her? If your behavior was extreme, then I recommend you seek out therapy or if you already have a therapist talk to them about this.
If the teachers become violent or you feel its abusive report the whole matter to a higher authority, first talk to your school guidance counselor so they can help you present your case to the principal (own up to them your own behavior as well), perhaps they will even speak to your teachers on your behalf. How do they have access to your email? How do you know they are reading it? Do you suffer from paranoia or Schiphrenia? Are you maybe on meds (sometimes meds mess with your mind, I know I've been on some anti-depressants that made me mad as a hatter) if so talk to your therapist explain the situation to them, see what they think, changing your meds, switching doses may help.
If the teachers behavior is more annoying then anything carry on with your life as best you can, just stay away from that teacher, eventually they may see you're not a threat. I'd still go to the guidance counselor to help you deal with this trying situation.
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