A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:i am attracted to a guy in his 30s! its driving me mad how i can't find a guy my own age. i have no idea what to do, i am starting to fall in love with him and i do not want to, but at the same time hes the first person in such a long time to actually make me smile, makes me happy. I go giddy when I am around him. Ive been clinically depressed for about 3 years and its the first time iv'e ever felt truly happy. i don't know what to do. i seriously do not want to act on it because that would just be another complication in my life but at the same time, i really like him. i actually like him now theres no turning back and i dont know what to do. Also i think he is attracted to me aswell. I know i shouldnt but i so want to.someone please talk sense to me.cheers.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Enjoy his company but don't let it go too far. He's been around the block and knows what a woman needs. Don't be fooled by his charm. You have too much spare time on your hands. Work on excelling in your studies and your education. Focus on school, books, and activities suitable for your age.
God Bless You!
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (28 November 2007):
 30 year old men are not attracted to 13-15 year old girls unless they are pedophiles. In other words, if he is coming on to you, there is something wrong with him - he is not a catch. There are plenty of guys your own age out there. If you haven't met one in your own school or neighbourhood, look a bit further.
I am more concerned about your health. Is latching on to this really bad, destructive fantasy a bit excessive, calling it "the only time I've felt truly happy?". I think you should talk about this with your parents and check out your depression again with your doctor. You might need to look into you health a bit more.
Never use a guy or a relationship as a cure or solution. I know you are smart enough to recognize that he is not "boyfriend" material, that the situation is suspect and possibly dangerous to you and your health, both mentally and physically. The key to your own happiness rests with you loving yourself and being your own best-friend. You are responsible for making decisions that are good for you. Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you have had a tough couple of years. Being a teenager is hard, and it's pretty common to have problems getting through these years. Get involved with a lot of different groups, the more support and help you have from friends and family, the better. Don't keep things bottled up and talk. Throw yourself into something that you love to do - theatre? volunteering? sports? Busy is the best therapy. AND it's a great way to meet new people. Sorry Honey, but it's a really bad idea to get involved with this guy. I hope this helped, even if it may not be what you wanted to hear.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly  +, writes (28 November 2007):
I understand what you are going through, I'm 19 and in love with a 35 year old man. I've met a lot of guys even they keep coming but still my mind keeps going to this guy. I think I love him, but for someone your age, you need a little more time.
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A
female
reader, calamitysil  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 I'd be quite concerned if he is attracted to you as that means he has paedophile tendencies. You're right in one aspect, you really don't need added complications and believe me, not only will your life be destroyed but also this man's. You are under the age of consent which I'm sure you know. Does this man even know how old you are? If you really love this man, stay away from him. You don't really want to be held partly responsible for him ending up on the sex offender's register for life, do you?
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