A
male
age
41-50,
*offeeandcigarettes
writes:So I've known this girl for around 10 years and we've always been really close friends but more recently I've developed feelings for her that I just can't seem to shake. Not long ago I decide to tell her how I feel and I asked her to be my GF. She agreed and we kissed a while and she fell asleep in my arms, nothing more than that. However the next day she said she wanted some time to think it over, I obliged and of course a few days later she told me she'd changed her mind and didn't want to be with me after all. My problem is I can't stop thinking about her. I don't want to risk ruining our friendship by pressing the matter but I just can't get her out of my head. I really need some advice but I can't talk to my best friend about it since it's about her, I tried to speak to a mutual friend about it but she just laughed. I have all these feelings for her and I don't know what to do with them. Please help, Thanks
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (24 July 2012):
Tough spot to be in. You need to go 100% in one direction or another. You need to either forget about her romantically, or you need to forget about her completely. A hybrid of friend/gf will NOT work, and only lead to heartache.First though, if I were you I would find out why she "changed her mind." It could be enlightening.
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (24 July 2012):
 Well she told you she wasn't interested in being gf/bf. I know it sucks, but the best thing you can do yourself is put some distance between the both of you so you can work on letting go of those feelings. It wouldn't be fair to yourself to keep hanging out with her and have everything she does or say come off as hints as though she's interested after all. You're just going to get your hopes up and feel led on.
Keep busy. Don't feel obligated to be nice and pretend as if her decision isn't affecting you. It is affecting you, and she should know that, so really it's her risking the relationship if she tries to play naive and asks you to hang out as friends like it's no big deal, not you.
Best of luck!
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