A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:everything is great btwn us ... but we have this problem with our sex life.. we've had sex on and off for the past couple months.. but we've gone awhile without sex.. when we try i lose my erection as soon as we are about to have sex... i'm hard during foreplay etc... we've had great sex a few times but the majority of times i just cant keep it up.. i do tend to think about it before we even start... if im hard enough, am i pleasing her etc..at this point she's getting very upset..we both love eachother but she doesn't know what to do.. i dont want the relationship to end because of this..she says she needs the sex ...i do too but can't get past this mental block... any suggestions? please help!!
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erection, foreplay, lose my erection, sex life Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, louxxlouxx  + ♥, writes (30 September 2008):
 Try and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You are so worried about not pleasing her that your body is reacting by confirming your worries! Your girlfriend loves you and that is all you have to think about. A technique I read about for people who struggle with this is to build up to sex in stages, like at 1st just be naked with each other, touch each others bodies in "non sexual" places to re explore each other, give each other massages just teach yourself to be comfortable around her, then move on to foreplay and then full sex when you are ready even if this is at a later date. Another thought, maybe try not ejaculating during foreplay if that happens? This could help you stay harder for longer cuz sometimes guys just can't carry on after sexual relief, so this could take some time to work on. Another thought lol, try not masturbating for a few days before sex cuz sometimes if people masturbate too much it affects performance when with another person. Also what contraception do you use? Maybe try having sex without condoms if your girl is willing to go on the pill and you have STI tests if neccessary. Or otherwise maybe try them if not?! lolDo a google search about it and see what tips there on online. If nothing is working then it may be best to see your dr and see what they suggest. Erectile dysfunction is quite common so don't beat yourself up about it. Work with what you have got and try and relax! Good luck! x
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