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I have a lot of angst about chatting to girls...

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Question - (19 January 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ovehurts1990 writes:

Hi, I started college in september 06 and i still havent got any female friends from there. I jus cant bring myself to go and talk to any girls. i think to myself "what do i say", "what if i look bad", "what if i dont act right" and so on. even if i did approach a girl i would most probably go red and freeze. What would be the best way to appproach a girl, and what is a good subject to talk about with them?, cheers

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A male reader, lovehurts1990 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2007):

lovehurts1990 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

cheers for the help but im doin an engineering course and there are no girls in my group so i cant really talk about homework and stuff

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntDepends a lot on the girl but you're at college which is a great advantage. Ask some girls in your class what the homework is or to explain something to you and then say thanks, you really helped me out. Then youve broken the no communication barrier and everytime you see them after that you can say hi, how are you? The friendly ones will stop for a chat and in time you'll become friends. Also make friends with guys who have girls in their group and go out together. That's the quickest way to make new friends at your age.

CD

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A female reader, dragonette Sweden +, writes (20 January 2007):

dragonette agony auntDepends on the girl. Sometimes I find it hard to discuss specific topics (programming, chemistry) with certain people, but there are a few things that are "safe" to talk about with anyone, like small stories about funny things that happened to you, or some amazing movie that just opened in the cinema, or that post modern art exhibit where all the objects looked like garbage bags...

But the most important thing is just to initiate the contact. Once you've met and said three lines each, you're not "anyone" anymore, you'll be "that guy I talked to at the bus stop yesterday".

As for initiating a conversation, somebody pulled a great line on me yesterday in the comics shop: "excuse me, but are you a med student?". It was a great conversation starter because I was curious enough to ask why he thought so (he was dead sure he had seen me at campus), and from there we started talking about other stuff.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (20 January 2007):

kenny agony auntI used to have terrible trouble talking to girls. when i was your age I remember with girls i really fancied i used to totally plan what i was going to say, or rehearse the roll with a friend.

Well i still coulden't get it right, and what i have leant over the years is to just be yourself, when you start talking to a girl the conversation just flows easily and naturally, and you find you have got more to talk about than you think.

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A male reader, moomoomoo United States +, writes (20 January 2007):

moomoomoo agony auntman! that sounds like the exact same situation i was in, and kind of still in. In senior year of high school , it was VERY easy for me because in class, you can easily talk to girls that sit next to you to make fun of the class or whatever... or make some comments.. but in college, i'm not sure if it's like that. If you socialize a little bit in class, then you migth as well go for that... (did you do the hw,.. was it hard? etc.) but then i'm not really sure what goes on and this is probably not what happens in your 1st year since everyone is new. You should have went to those socials that are always held for freshmen to meet new people... sure, i'll probably be the guy just like you who just talks to guys and doesn't approach girls, and when they approach you and introduce you sound kind of awkward, but think in your mind "I HAVE TO DO THIS" and just og over to someone alone and be like hi i'm blah blah, nice to meet you.. you can make friends almost anywhere, just act friendly, always be smiling, maybe laugh at something funny they just did... especially try to make friends with people you see often. good luck.. i will be in your situation sometime in the future too maybe... but i hope not =P

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