A
male
age
36-40,
*bcy034
writes:Ok ladies AND gents. This is a long one but please bare (bear?) with me. I have put myself in such a terrible situation and even though I know this I do not stop my actions probably due to my selfish, pig, insecurities and attitude. I don't know how to begin but I hope if I write this naturally it will come out as my feelings express drearly. Low and behold, there is this lovely, gorgeous, kind and gentle lady with whom I work with. I have known her as a work colleague for more than 2 years. We flirt, help each other, talk, and get along well (most probably I'm thinking because she's a top human being not because she likes me).We have kissed before, exchanged numbers, and one time after a party she told me to go home with her but I declined as I was seeing someone at the time.Since then, she doesn't flirt with me anymore. But I continue. I do not stop. I have grown such an infatuation with her. I have become desperate. Sometime when we talk I comment back with sleazy flirting and I know it but do not stop due to my desperate lack of self esteem. Let's face it nowadays it's easy to get numbers and hook up with girls at a club and go home together (some might disagree). But I am fed up of that. I want this woman. I keep thinking about her on both lust and love levels. I tend to think and wonder about her a lot, to be with her normally and sexually. I know I have probably ruined my chances with her already by rejecting her the first time round but I have always liked her and fancied her. I get anxious as soon as I see her.I personally believe she enjoys me chasing her, all awhile she's getting fucked by someone else. What do I do? How can I get her to like me sexually and on a personal level again. Should I tell her like her? Should I help her with general stuff? I am crazy to do that knowing she doesn't want me anymore. But I have even dreamt about her a few times. I do chat up other women, get numbers and what not so it's not like I have no one. But I want this one. That is that. Ps. I have a girlfriend (told u I was a pig)
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at work, exchanged numbers, flirt, I work with, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (27 September 2014):
 The answer to every question you asked on here is NO!
Did your parents celebrate every poop you made in the potty and show it off to all of their friends and relatives? Because you say "told u I was a pig" like you're proud of that fact.
You need to grow up. I don't care about your obsession with this other girl at work, and I will not help you cheat on your girlfriend. Nothing in your post says anything remotely filled with remorse OR trying to make it right with your girlfriend.
Stop using and victimizing your girlfriend. Break up with her so that she can go find someone who actually LOVES her!
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 September 2014):
 If you have a GF and WANT to TRY it with the co-worker then for CRYING out loud END it with your GF FIRST.
Once you are FIRMLY single, then ASK to lady out on a date. Now she MIGHT shoot you down. She might have moved on from her initial infatuation, she might not LIKE the sleazy dude you have turned into (you said it yourself)...
But pursuing a woman when you ALREADY HAVE ONE is not just being a pig. It's being selfish, immature, inconsiderate, callous,... I'm sure you don't want me to go on..
If she turns you down, you only really HAVE one choice, and that is to FREAKING respect it. It's that simple. She doesn't HAVE to like you back because YOU are crushing on her.
As they saying goes, SHIT or get off the pot.
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