A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im with a Guy who's a lot older than me. first person i've ever know to make me feel what can only be love i guess. thing is he's had a slightly colourful past and everytime i think about anybody he's been 'with' or some of the conquests he's accomplished i get torn inside. i was considerabley niave before i met him my eyes have been severely opened. there are no problems when im with him and i trust him completely. i don;t think its jealousy.it only hurts for a minute and sometimes a week goes by without me noticing. am i just being petty. i get all angry inside and hate it because i love him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): I could cry for you, I don't know how much help i can offer to get over this but I can share with you my experiance till date.
I have fallin in love with someone being Nieve to thier colorful past till later on in the relationship. I myself have experianced only a portion of what they have as I was in a serious relationship for 10 years since the age of 17 before i met her.
Everytime i think i'm over her past and decide that it doesn't matter because she's good to me, loves me and I love her now, Something comes up to remind me of the "colorful" things she has done before me with other men. It's been 4-5 months of knowing these things, 10 break ups, 3 one night stands from me (yes cheating, attempting to even the playing field) and one actual relationship behind her back and I still feel this way time to time. when it comes on, it's sickening and sometimes passes in moments but sometimes takes all night or days to forget about and talk myself back to what the prize is again...
I'm waiting it out, it's jealousy and it's a BI*CH!
if you're thinking about cheating, it doesn't help much. the problem is you, low selfesteem and low self worth...therepy maybe could help. Don't bring these things up to him no matter how hard you want to because it'll only push him away and then you're in a whole new world of pain because you want him.
I use xanex and lots of sleep to get over it momenterily.
Good luck though!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007):
You're not being petty at all, most people feel most comfortable when they are with a partner with a similar sexual history to their own. You are still young and becoming comfortable with other peoples sexual pasts will become easier. But if your pasts are vastly different then it is understandable that you find it difficult at times - we get tons of questions about this subject on here so you are far from being alone.
If it is only bothering you every now and again then perhaps you are getting through it and it will just one day fade out of your memory. If not, well it becomes a huge problem in your head then the other solution is that there are plenty of people out there who have a similar past to your own. I would say see how it goes over time, but try and concentrate on the now, rather than let the past haunt you. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)
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A
female
reader, neeneeuno +, writes (3 February 2007):
 your been incredibly petty sweethear..
Everyone has a past, big or small.. many people big.. the fact is you should be happy hes been honest and shared it with you.. and not hidden it, also except that men do allot of exegerating, especially wen it comes to making them look big and strong..
Thats the past.. and it's gone.. just remeber that you part of the future..
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 February 2007):
 By your age you're going to struggle to find a guy who doesn't have some sort of past. I think it's something youve just got to come to terms with and learn to live with.
CD
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