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I hate my brother. Hes disgusting, arrogant and stupid.

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Question - (4 November 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I hate my brother (16). Hes disgusting, arrogant and stupid. He curses at our sister (4) and calls her a bastard and he hits her all the time, makes her cry, calls her ugly, stupid and everything. He thinks hes gonna be a rapper. Hes a damn bully. Hes choked me before in a fight, I clawed him to get him off and was gonna pass out b4 he let go. He brags that he beat up a kid and gave his friend the kid's ipod. He failed 9th twice and smokes pot, drinks and has sex with girls and then leaves them, calling them bitches, hoes-breaking up over text. My mom is only one woman, even before our dad died shes been it. Shes sickly and beginning to lose control on him. He lies like he breathes and I hate him. If it weren't for my mom, I'd just sit back and watch him drown as he deserves to. He knows wrong from right and he chose wrong anyway-I'm done with him. But I love my mom, I don't want her to hurt because of him. So what to do? Wish he could go to bootcamp for a yr and see how tough he's NOT. Hate him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010):

This needs to stop...You cant just sit back and fight back with everthing you have. Find a way to get this taken care of asap.

I dont know how to help you exactly, i dont have a phone number to anyone that can help furthermore or have a website other then here that can help. I wish i did.

Assuming your much other then you 16yr old borther, you have a home of your own? Take your sister there, at least get her away from him. Anywhere away from him is safe for her.

xoxo Be careful ok

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A female reader, Trac675 United States +, writes (29 November 2010):

Trac675 agony aunt:( OUCH, very hard thing to deal with. I know personally as my now 18 year old lashed out BAD when my mother died in 2002. He had and still has some SERIOUS anger issues that really need to be dealt with promptly. This is just the beginning of a abusive boy/man if no action is taken. He is lost, hurt and needs help. Sometimes going directly to CPS is not the answer, as they will most likely take your sister out of the home as well. I am not making "excuses" for him, but someone needs to get him in counseling or maybe a mental outpatient program. With his issues, and depending where you are located, you can gert this free. Is there a school counselor or someone you can take this matter to? Try calling your local community action agency or DHS for phone numbers.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I've fought him like hell to keep him away from my sis, she's my life! He hits her, I hit him and put her in another room, he hits me and the cycle continues. We don't have money for counseling/boot camp, I talked to my mom abour this and she agrees, he needs help. But, our hands are tied.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 November 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Don't sit back and watch.

Your brother is regularly abusing and hitting a 4 year old child, even if she weren't her sister you can't just sit there and sigh " oh that's so mean ". What is going on is unaccettable, harmful and potentially very dangerous for the child, who tells you it cannot end up in tragedy.

The task of making him stop would fall on your mother, I understand she is sickly and your brother is a tough customer, yet if your mom is the one supporting him financially, she certainly has some leverage on him.

If your mother or yourself can't make him shape up, involve the Social Services, or your local Child Protection agencies. Have your brother removed from your house, if necessary, and sent to live somewhere else. Drastic ? I don't think so. This guy is not your usual "difficult " teenager- a bit of weed, a bit of truancy, a bit of attitude, he'll grow out of it... your brother is all the time ( you said that ) physically abusive toward a 4 years old child. If you watch all this without lifting a finger, you are enabling and condoning a crime.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010):

When I read just the first four lines, I had already assumed there was a lack of father figure. I really think, that he took it worse than you both, I mean he's a boy and so he misses that father son relationship which you can never find with ur mum or sisters and since he was the only male left perhaps he felt pressure to look after the family but couldn't handle it. Maybe he feels that your mum since ur dad died is overly doting on her youngest daughter, and since she is so young he doesn't think that she understands the pain he's going through so has to laSh out at her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010):

Now see...I defend, like i fight back. I fight dirty and fight dirty correctly.Yes correctly. Trust me. You should too, but thats my opinion...

He needs to be put in place. Seriously. You KNOW that just as much as the nexy guy.

As an older brother why would you do such a thing to a baby sister, SISTER for that matter. He thinks he's hot shit and thats going to get him in a hell of a lot more trouble in the future.

It sounds as if he has anger problems and is expressing it quite verbally and physically that or he's just f^cking mean. He needs professional help or yes bootcamp.

Hell, if i knew ya...id be there to help :)

Keep him away from your sister, if she doesnt get away, she'll be scarred mentally if not physically.

Xoxo Good luck ok.

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