A
female
age
22-25,
Puicks
writes:I know i hate my b/f. i cannot stand the boy,and yet i allow myself to remain there, be mistreated, oh my lord i am such a fool wha tis wrong with me. i am not happy at all.Reasons why i do hate my b/f1. he does not do anything for me---once i asked him to go to ASDA/Walmart with me and he said 'are we married-this was a long time ago but i still remember.2. he does not do the little things like ringing me and say am busy and i won't be coming round instead he leaves me hanging and does not pick up his phone.3. he promises to do things and it never happens like---lets go out to nandos and he never mentions it on the day we plan to go. actually this day is tonight and i sent a little doggy text asking him ' i thought u wanted to go out tonite' and you guessed it no answer4. yes and when he knows that he has mistreated me he says 'yes go and cry now'5. he says he loves me but i know its not love.bcus he knows i do not like him but he is jsut there.6. he wants to have loud sex when the neighbours are around and he knows that i do not like the bloody nieghbours. well, guess what i never fat on him. he is one idiot. sometimes i feel like screaming out to him ' I AM NOT A WHORE'7. he is stupid n e little thing he gets upset about, listen it is very petty.8. i work 7 days a week and he continuously complains he is tired. so imagine what can i say for myself. like today he is trying to tell me that he woke up at 4. hahahhhaha i am meant to believe that.9. he comes round to my house and sits in front of my computer whole night downloading music, without a proper word being said to me in my own home. the he suddenly wakes up and says come and let me out, am going. hahahahaha. (i would love to have a man coming in then and rock my world everytime he does that)10. we have never had a human conversation---seriously-- he does not know how to talk. bare in mind i have been with this boy for 4 and a half years.I really have a least a thousand more things to say.YES YOU ARE GOING TO REPLY SAYING WHAT A, I DOING WITH HIM STILL WELL THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TO KNOW.
View related questions:
neighbour, text Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): my bf is an ass hole, he puts his friends before me, he goes out all the time adn comes home to pick the car up drunk to go to work, he leaves me in to look after the kids, he treats me like a slut who gives sex on tap, he is a twat, he spends all his money on weed and has none to take our kids out to the park, im stuck in this relationship,whso gna want a 21yr old grl with two kids???
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): I feel like I hate my bf 2. He makes me feel like shit almost everyday. I have tried so hard for so long to make him happy. I know that I don't. He has asked me to marry him countless times and I got so excited cause I thought he was the one, and then taken it back. I have always kissed his ass cause he hadn't done what the others had done to me, cheat or beat. I feel like I was always a good gf. Always thinking of what he would like before what I would like, borrowing $ even when I can not buy for myself. Being a support when he is down and telling him how great he was when he was down. But in truth, he treats me horribly. He never respects me, tells me what a baby I am when he treats me badly. He suspects my every move as cheating, when I recently found out that he has been cheating on me for most of our relationship. He tells me how I need to grow up, but he doesn't even take resposibilty to take out garbage, help pay for groceries, change the cat litter, or even have a job. I hate him so much, and he has been pretty much gone for the 3 1/2 yrs of our relationship that I feel like I would be much happier alone. I wish I could end it, but I don't want to deal with the mess it would bring. I'm 2 lazy or emotionaly exhausted to 2 deal with all sloppiness that breaking up with. If u come up with n e thing, let me know.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): I met my boyfriend at college almost a year ago. I like him because he is successful and extremely determined. When we first started dating, he cheated with me with "Nancy." (and his ex girlfriend!) I was extreeeeemely upset, because it was an ongoing thing. I ended up finding out from other people on campus. He blamed it on me saying that it was because I would "leave" all the time with my friends. But, I made him guilty a few times about it that eventually started crying and begging for forgiveness. He called me her name in bed too. I almost left so many times, but he runs after me and begs me to stay. I cheated on him as well though, i think mostly out of spite. Second semester- His ex girlfriend wouldn't stop calling him, and I found aim conversations between them saying "I love you" and "I miss the amazing times we had together." I was pissed, but once again he ran after me. She would call at like 2 in the morning, but he never would really tell her off. Eventually, because I kept bitching about it so he finalllyyy blocked her. Even though those events were long ago, I still feel like I'm holding a grudge. I secretly hate him inside. I think I stayed also because I have low self esteem. Every time I get drunk I'm really mean to him, and I can't help myself! I'm from Connecticut, and my Father just moved to Kentucky. This semester coming up, if I stay with my boyfriend in CT in his apartment, I will be able to get a refund check to buy a car so I can rely on myself now that my Father and little brother moved away. I'm in Kentucky right now with them, and I don't really like it here. I'm just stuck. I honestly don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore, even though I miss him a lot. I just feel like i'm stuck. Should I stick out the semester with him just so I can get my car? I don't even want to go back to that college, but I have no vehicle to go anywheres else, and the semester starts soon it might be too late to enroll in another college, unless it's a community college but I don't have transportation.... *sigh* what should I do?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): well i CERTAINLY Can't help any one either as I can't help my self. My boyfriend AH of five years won't leave either. What is with these men. He sat on his ass for about four of those years ding crap all.. and I used my money for bills and rent. I have three children from the past.. but he promised to treat them good so everything was happy for me and the children in the begining. They still like him, but he controls everything he works now.. But don't ever ask him for a penny for any reason hes hordfull. It just seems draining with no help.. and it continues to get worse ~he says things like I'm stupid, I'm irresponsible, I'm a slut.. etc. First I do not go any where, haven't scince I have been with him except work to support his appitite, I buy grocerys and they are half gone by the middle of the week,, chocolate doesn't last. When I met him he was 160 pounds,, hes now pushing 300, and he seems to think its ok. He also thinks going out till 7 am is fine too every time he gets paid,, to the strippers, and he'll blow his money on blow in a second. I'm just fed up.. Today he stole my medications and he broke my cell phone after he whipped it accross the room in my purse and nail polish is set into the floor now from spattering from inside my purse. I can't call the police because I was involved with childrens aid once before because of a past asshole and he knows that I can get my children taken if I do that. THey are fuked up in Canada and they even though my children are in no harm from myself or him.. as hes anger is directed to me. They have always sided with the man..well at least in my situations... I seem to pick the real smooth cats. I also have asbergers so Its hard for me to communicate with people.. He laughs about it. I haven't much family and the friends I had well he banned me from seeing them telling me they were no good for me and stupidly I believed it. Any how I am finely thinking about sending the children away and putting a restraining order on him.. or finding a cop to just tell him to beat it.. Any advice???
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Omadayz, I never knew so many females were in the same boat. Sometimes i think if i would ever find the one, because believe ive searched and ive always ended up wid idiots! I dnt kno what it is about us women, why do we always go for guys that will treat us like trash, the ones that are too sweet and will never tell you if your in the wrong and treat u like a princess we usually run a mile.
Ive been wid my boyfriend for 7 months now and everything was sooo perfect at the begining he was soo nice to me and I was nice to him. I think he started thinking i was too nice so he started to try take advantage. I realised what he was trying to do so I swithched my attitude towards him. I became so rude, now he begs me to b the same gal he met. I act like i dnt care no more, I tell him im busy at work or out with my girls when he wants to see me, even though i may b sitting at hme in my PJs. I dnt bother calling or txting him, now hes always txtin and calling me evry hour. I let him know every detail when another guy tries to chat me up so he knows that i can go wid sum one better, and that hurts him. I dumped him one time and he got his friends to call me and persuade me to take him bck, he got so stressed over me dumping him that he lost weight over stress and not eating an sleepin.
Ladies,what im tryin to say is never let a man control a relationship, especially wen he dominates other people, have the power to dominate him, he will respect and fear you. Never show him that you are weak, cry in front of him when something else other then him is hurting u, if u cry infront of him and hes the cause hell kno hes got u on lockdown and men take advantage of that, make ur man feel that hes lucky to have you and he should b scared that u can wake up one day and leave him for some else better then him. then he'll b asking u " babes why r u with me" and you jst say i ask my self dat everyday.
Im not being a bad girlfriend, Ive been with so many idiots and ive always made the mistake of chasing them and i always end up hurt, and the way may bf strated talking to me i knew he was beggining 2 take advantage so i thought im not letting it slide this time im going to stand my ground, and it wrks he waits on me hand and foot its great, and i know I desserve better because hes only treatin me like dat because the way im treating him. I want a realtionship where i can treat my man good and he will do it in return hes jst der till i find the one (hpe hes out der)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Ok, I hope by the time you read this that life has moved on for you and that you're not with him anymore...However I fully understand if you still are. (so many of us are) Ask yourself these questions:1. Does my boyfriend shout at me regularly and/or call me names?2. Do I feel isolated from my friends or family?3. Does he stop me going out or going places with him?4. Does he get very jealous regularly?5. Am I criticised for how I do things, what I look like?6. Am I restricted in making my own choices?7. Does my boyfriend say one thing and do another: move the goal posts and change his mind with no warning?8. Do I ever feel pressured into having sex when I don't want to?9. Do I feel in control of my own money?10. Am I pressured to give up my independence (ie job, college, car etc etc)?11. Does he ever physically threaten me, block my way, intimidate me physically?12. Does he ever throw things at me or break things near to me?13. Does he make me do things I don't want to?14. Has he ever hit, pushed, scratched, bitten etc me? 15. Is he at all violent physically or sexually?16. Has he ever harmed anyone else (an expartner, a child etc)?It is hard to be with someone, to love them and to see their good side and then to gradually come to understand that they are behaving in a selfish, aggressive and controlling way. We often want to see the best in those we love, this makes us feel loved and close to them. There is no way to change anyone else's behaviour. Sometimes people who we love are too unkind, controlling or abusive to stay with. Sometimes we feel so hurt by their actions that the fear and pain involved in leaving them seems like it will be unbearable. We feel worse and worse about ourselves because we are being treated badly. We feel weak and vulnerable and feel like we NEED the person who is hurting us the most. Sometimes we fear arguments and aggression and don't leave because we are so used to trying to avoid conflict. Sometimes we are frightened to leave.The truth is things will only get worse. If someone is allowed to get away with this type of behaviour they will not stop doing it. If we leave them then we will eventually start to feel better about ourselves because we are not being treated badly, attacked and criticised.There is a natural cycle in some relationships where things are fine, great, better than great for a while (maybe with promises, gifts, lots of compliments, gestures of undying love etc) and then it all breaks down again. At this time some of the above questions will have definate YES!! answers. There might be a quiet time, sometimes the 'making up' is typically about sex or seems like he's being very romantic. Sometimes, if you leave, he might threaten self-harm, harming you or even suicide. Sometimes it is just the case that you find it nearly impossible to say no to him at all.If you find yourself in this situation, feeling like you don't know whats happening, feeling trapped, unable to think clearly or caught up in a cycle where things go from great to crappy again and again. Build up your life away from him: friends, family, collegues etc... try to hold on to your independence (even in secret). Do things YOU like, regardless of him.If necessary and you are scared of him, have a plan to get away (know where important things are bank cards, passport, certificates etc), tell a trusted person and have their number handy. If an emergency arises call 999.No-one deserves to be treated badly, unfortunately when we are it makes us feel weak and vulnerable and then it is very difficult to think clearly and make decisions to do what we really neeed to.There are services that will help anyone who feels that they are being abused and controlled (emotionally, physically, sexually and/or verbally). For those who need help to get away as they feel they can't make the break by themselves the best people to talk to are Women's Aid, a solicitor (especially if you live together), their local police domestic violence unit). This may sound extreme but 1 in every 4 women is abused by a partner at some time in their lives. This abuse is not just physical violence.We all need to know: We are all responsible for our own actions. They are responsible (regardless of how much you understand the reasons) for what they are doing. They won't change. It will probably get worse. If anyone treats you badly it is your responsibility to walk away as soon as you can.If you feel bad about yourself for any reason (from the past) then it is only going to make you feel worse to stay with someone who treats you badly. What we all need to try to do (and I am still trying!) is to look after ourselves and help ourselves to feel better instead of relying on our partners/boyfriends for how we feel.It sounds like you want to leave, get help to do it. Don't blame yourself if you find it hard to let go. It is hard to do. But very possible to achieve.Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2008): I am scared to leave my boyfriend too. Even when he treats me bad I put up with it cos I am scared to be alone. I am scared that I will never find anyone one else and will be alone.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): i hate my boyfriend even though he is wonderfully nice to me. Sometimes people weren't meant for each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): I understand where you are coming from. I have such a love/hate relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together a year and love each other so much n I can not imagine my life w.o him. However at the same time I truely despise him which makes me think maybe its not love maybe its just I am comfortable with him n his family and dont wanna have change. He can be soo nice and caring sometimes but we fight pretty much everyday. For example, right now I am sitting alone at 2 in the morning on a saturday night because the asshole is at his cousins college graduation party... which i was invited to but he wont let me go and even after I got upset bcuz he never brings me anywhere with him i finally told him why i was upset and his exact words were "wow u really know how to ruin something good" Excuse me if i ruined your night- im sure mine will be a blast sitting waiting up for you to call me so i can pick u up and u will undoubtedly be drunk even though u said u wont drink there.He drinks with his friends until 2 in the morning n then calls me to pick him up n bring him home and he is extremely mean and annoying when he is drunk. One time he had me drop him off at his friends house at midnight and promised he was gunna be an hour at the most... then calls me at 5 in the morning saying he would be back by 7 and actually got mad at me for crying and being upset. uhh hello i basically just dropped u off at ur friends so u could drink with them all night longg.He is inconsiderate and I dont know why I am still with him. He would never cheat on me but I have cheated on him bcuz I guess I just had that need to feel wanted. I am sick of always being the last stop... I understand we live together but does he have to come over so late all the time?? And if he has to come over late cant he just bring me to these parties so I am not sitting here waiting for him like his little bitch? The sad thing is I literally have guys lined up telling me they want to be my boyfriend when I dump the loser... and they are great guys who know how to treat a girl right... but i cant bring myself to break up with him.ahh help
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): hunnny you are with him becuz you feel stuck. u feel like u could change this man and have him do these little things to keep u happy. well he will not change if u are still with him. believe me. i hate my boyfriend to. its just a matter of time= once u leave him . hell come crying back. then u decide if hes worth it or not
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Hi, i know how you feel... i am in the same scenario probably worse... i have been with him for 9 months.... he does not have a job , he depends on me for every single thing, uses my car and cause so much damages and said it was my fault ( everything is always my fault even if i am no where close to him ) and he wont repair it, he would say that it is my car so i have to repair the damages ! If you went to his blog you will see pictures of his ex girlfriend still in there even after she murdered their 7 month old son ! he doesn't do anything for my birthday, valentines day, new year wot-so-ever... NEVER !!! he calls me a slut just cause i talk to my male colleagues... he took my camera and lost it and said he will get it back but never does... and i dunno why i still stick around? i seriously don't know ! i wanna run away , i feel so stuck right now !
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): Are you F'n kidding me? What the hell are you still doing with this guy? I got such a case of indigestion from your first five responses that I just gave up reading. Understandably, I am only reading your point of view pertaining to the situation, but if it is an accurate portrayal of the situation get the f*** out now. I don't care what your situation is or what your self esteem situation looks like. Understand this.............. YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS GUY IS CHOOSING TO GIVE YOU!!!!! F**** that!! If he actually says "Yes, go cry now." What human being is so callous to say that to another human being, that they SUPPOSEDLY care about, and actually expect some form of positive response from that? You are so much better than that no matter what you have been led to believe. Look in the mirror....find three things about you that you love..... and leave the f'n loser cause of the simple fact that he doesn't see those three things too. BASTARD!!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): I think you should stop hassling him into changing into something you want. If hes not satisfying your needs why put yourself through all that. If you stand your ground by not phoning or chasing him and do your own thing he will come after you, but you must remain in control. You cant just stand your ground once then go back at square one. You should also try and keep your options open as I'm pretty sure he will be doing the same as I suspect he feels your trying to mould him and keep him. THIS JUST SCARES HIM AWAY! Even if he stays with you he will still be looking elsewhere! That is why it is important to keep your cool and have interests of your own he then will think your not his safety blanket and try and demand your time maybe even think about settling down? You cant keep him feeling he has you where he wants you as he will just walk all over you. I know I sound quite harsh but I've had the same feelings as yourself, but I just got fed up! I got bored of my boyfriend treating me just the same so just didn't care and hes been chasing me ever since! Believe me if your with a guy who behaves like this hes just immature and needs a bit oof a scare before he grows up!
Hope this helps
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): umm....well how about when you are ACTUALLY hanging out with him and his friends, and he is wicked cool, but once you get home, he acfts like you are trash
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 The reason why you people are stuck in the rut and cannot
get out is because you are trapped in this vicious cycle and
each time you lose something from yourself, your self
esteem, power,motivations,hope,optimism and it is emotionally draining.
You lose the will and the energy to fight back or get out.
Day by day you give more of yourself until you become tired, stressed and numbed.
You allowed this situation to happen because you do not have any limits or boundaries .
You did not put your foot down and allowed him to climb all over your head and sh*t on you.
You need to fight for your rights in marriage.
Men gives more respects to women who stand their grounds.
You are not totally helpless nor men all too powerful.
You allowed the enemy to penetrate your defenses and you
become vulnerable ,manipulated, abused and him in control .
You are like living in a top security prison all your life
and you do not know whats the feeling of being 'free' means.
These women can only leave when something catastrophic or
dramatic happens in their life to justify leaving the nest.
They get so angry and makes them want to leave their comfort zones for the unknowns.
You need to realized that you have to think for yourself and not him.
You will not defend nor justify his actions towards you.
You need to create the life you want and break off from his
shackles and all those chains that he has unconsciously bound your body and spirit.
You cannot negotiate your life with an irrational,insane and uncivilized man.
Make up your decisions to stay and fight or to leave if
you know he will never bulge from his position.
Get some financial and emotional help from friends or relatives to ease your leaving.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): i know exactly what ur going through ...r u sure ur not with the same guy because everything u just decribed of him fits my boyfriend to a tee. Weve been together for 5 and a half years. When we first started dating it seemed perfect...We got along great and everything but as the years went by i kept losing trust in him more and more...for the reasons below...
1. When he gets drunk he becomes angry but only at me
2. He gets angry at me for crying...he just sits there looking at me like wtf r u doing
3. He treats his friends better then me ...even the guys that he talks shit about behind their backs ya he makes time for them and i come last
4. He is the most pesimistic person i know...if there is anything someone can say to make u hav a shitty day he will be the first one to point it out
5. i have never received flowers or nothing from him--- the only things he gets for me r presents that ALSO benefit him as well--- like video games, beer, alcohol, cigs, etc...
6. oh i cant forget hes always too broke to take me to a movie that costs like what maybe 5 dollars a person but he always has money to get a bag of weed costing atleast 20 to 50 bucks
7. he bitches at me for making him look bad infront of his friends when he does it too and when his friends talk shit to me he just sits there like he doesnt realize it
8. Oh and nothings ever ours its either his or mine he doesnt understand the word share and trust me he makes sure i know certain things arent mine
9. and oh U GUYS WILL LOVE THIS we once got in a fight because i was sick of him taking me FORGRANTED and he said "If i dont know what that word means im not doing it to you"
yeah its unfortunate to say but im still with the asshole but im afraid of change and being alone and everyones saying well would u want ur friend to being dating a guy like that and i would hav to say no but its hard to hav friends help u out like that when theyve all stabbed u in the back or screwed u over hopefully things work out
sincerly
X
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): i have a boyfriend who does about 6 of the things you wrote there.
i know what you are going through! and there are no good things to reflect on!
i have so much to give to a relationship, i just want to be put first and for him to take me seriose! is that how you feel? i have tried to use the "breaking up" method but it doesnt work anymore, he doesnt believe it and i cant leave him. i couldnt bare seeing him with someone else. and i am fustrated. he has become such a part of me (such an annoying part who i hate) that i cannot live without him!
here is what i think we need to do.
take a deep breathe, get our will power into gear, and just ignore him. if he comes around say "yeah havent checked my phone"
if use make plans "oh the girls asked me to go out, cant say no. well have to do it another night ox"
i think soon enough they will get upset and say "whats the go" and when he asks tell him "well i guess you have lost intrest in us i begane to aswell"
he probaly wont even ask, but he will be chasing you.
just dont break up with him yet. he still might have the goodness in him that i believe my boyfriend has. i need to be strong and find it though.
i am so weak i always chase him, but i am NOT going to anymore. this will work im sure of it and if he doesnt chase you, he isnt into you and he is not worthy of you
hope this helped
aimee x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): Yes you deserve to be respected. You know sometimes the only reason people are with eachother is that they are sacred of being alone for a while or they are used to the person in their lives. That happened to me once. Talk to him and explain that you need respect and love in your relashionship or you will end it.Sometimes boys take advantage of you if you are too nice and less demanding. That is what I learned from my past relashionships. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): I know how you feel, i've read everyones responses and do agree that you should break up, and it hurts to wanna leave them, but what ive learnt is that you only have one life to live, so be with a man who loves only you, accepts you for who you are, doesnt leave your side when your hurting, doesnt give you a poor excuse why theyve fucked up. And when you find someone, if there is any reason..and i mean ANY reason that you feel you shouldnt be with them because theyve made a mistake, leave immediately. The man for you who truly is meant to be with you is still out there looking for you..and will keep looking til theyve found you. And you will know who they are because you can feel it in your heart. I cry as i write this because i know. mwa mwa
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): dump him. No one deserves that sometimes when u just keep forgiving his mistakes he just coming back with more. I have been with my bf for 2 years and i am so used to him i dont know what to do, hes the same asshole.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I feel the same way.
I'm pretty sure the only reason why I stay with my boyfriend is because I'm afraid of the unknown.
But I know if any of my girlfriends had a man like him, I would tell them to leave him...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): honey, my heart goes out to you. you are a beautiful woman, with the wrong man. unfortunately, we as women feel the need to feel needed, wanted, loved...whatever. so we wind up with people who are BELOW us on different levels and we lower our standards because we THINK we're in love. would you have let him treat you like this on your first date? i hope not. because women have the natural instinct to care for people, we blindly do not see that we are being emotionally/mentally abused. and that's just as bad as physical abuse because we cannot see it all the time and we don't always know that it happens. i had a VERY abusive husband, and it all started with emotional abuse. most men don't take it further than that, but it still hurts.
please don't be with someone who makes you cry.
love yourself first. what would you do if your best friend had a man like yours? what advice would you give her?
one other thing honey.....men only treat us how we allow them to. put your foot in his ass and let him know what's up. there's someone better out there for you anyway. and in all honesty, if you don't find him, being alone is better than being with him.....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): Fuck, Iam in the same boat, but for over 6 years with 3 kids by him and we live 2gether, and I hate him so fucking much!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): yeah i know what you mean it's the same with my boyfriend, He does drugs, he's agressive, selfish and he spends most of his time with his drug frends and less time with me.
I found that i'm still with him because
1.) i'm afraid to hurt him
2.) i'm scared the second i end it he will go for another girl straight away
3.) that i like the idea of having a boyfriend. I'm scared of what to do next, i've been with this guy for a while now and i am worried that i will regret it after because i can't get anyone else.
I think the best thing for you to do is either tell him how you feel, if he doesn't want to change then go. I think the best thing is to bite the bullet and put yourself out there. I know that seems stupid coming from someone who is in the same situation and is doing nothing. But i guess i'll probably end up doing the same thing somewhere down the line.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): ! and a Half years i've been with my fella, so same as you. Why do we do this to ourselves?? My sympathy is with you only coz i can emathise, coz i am just the same !!! Good luck, we both need it!!!!.x.x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): your boyfriend seems like a self centered slob..dump him
...............................
A
female
reader, BigSis + ♥, writes (26 April 2008):
 This thread started almost a year ago, I sure hope that our questioner, Puicks is free of him and moved on with her life.
: )
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): ok u know it happens.may be its just the fear of bein alone.or may be u like to whine abt him.many reasons r there.u should know better
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): I know how you feel my boyfriend only cares about himself.Itell him every night that i hate him and to get out all he says is whatever. He doesn't seem to care about his kids either.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): Sweetie, I think deep down you don't think you deserve any better...
Until you realize your own self worth and demand better, you'll continue to put up with it.
Know this- You are beautiful and good, you deserve the best life has to offer and if this man (boy?) can't see that or give you that, then you'll have to cut him loose.
When you treat YOURSELF with the respect you deserve, you will find a man that will treat you with the same respect.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): he is an _____ - i am contemplating a break up too but your boyfriend is just so much worse than mineyou are with ihm because after four years is hard to let go and you're scared of being alone and you are just so used to being with him and we women develop this kind of s___ for such meni hate them alland probably because he was the first guy you had sex withLEAVE HIM NOW
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): maybe you dig the drama. you like the whole being abused thing. i guess that makes you a victim. maybe you secretly like it. you're not really one though. it's just a role you're playing. you're being totally deceitful to yourself. you hate the guy and just want to punish him, but he's never going to see that you're right. he doesnt care.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): You're staying with him because you're pissed off at him and are waiting for the tide to turn a little so you can hurt him back. Like if he starts being nice to you, then you can act mean for all the times he let you sit there and cry, while he didnt do a thing. You're not going to forgive him. He's not worth your time. All you're doing is hurting yourself/wasting your time. He's not that into you. He really isnt. What are you doing? If you get pregnant, then you've just totally screwed yourself and you'll be crying in front of you baby too.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): i am with him because i thought I fell in love. i kept testing him and finally realized he can't hang. at first he acted as though he was Mr. Patience- as I am a firey soul. 8 months into the relationship he seemed to get irate over nothing..he drinks a lot and he smokes weed. he is messy and eats way to much meat. yuck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): you have got used to havin him around!!!!!!!!!! i am exactly the same as you my darlin..... fuk him off and i bet you will find someone that interests you just as quick as you got rid of him!!!!!!!!! wish i cud take my own advice tho! xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): im sorry for u..honestly i am. but u need to leave that jerk. hes abuseing u mentaly. now from the sounds of it u no that he his. soooo whats takeing so long to leave that sack of crap? u said it yourself u hate him. stop depending on change and stop depending on it turning into love because honey this is nothing close to love. u want some 1 to take u out, have conversations with, be happy with. dont u want to come home to some1 who actuyally loves u. and some one who wants to hear about your day or wants to show u love and attention? i think so. just like any female out there who lacks the attention and love by there partner. i go threw alot too. im 20 and have 2 baby boys. my boy friend can be such a jerk but not like that. and i still left him before. u need to step up to the plate. your whole attitude towards life probaly changed cuz of this man and might not even notice it. your family and friends probALY noticed it and i bet they dont like the miserable u. i hope u see the light n move on. you will be soo happy in the end.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Your bf is worse than mine and now I am considering for a break-up. You know what to do
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): oh wow
I dont really care for my boyfriend either
I understands that he treats you bad, but honestly, you dont need that at all,
it sounds like major bullshit if you ask me.
my boyfriend does a lot of the same stuff but
when he does somthing wrong he tries to turn it around and try to make it my fault
If you Love him, and you really want to be with him
tell him EXACTLY whats going on
and if he still doesn't care
you just need to dump him no matter how hard it is
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): The reason why you are with him is that you are at a turning point in your life. He is not for you as the simple fact that you wrote this message shows that you want change. It would be easy to say that if you want change then you have to change things. You think you can change him. But you are channelling all you energy into this so there is none left for yourself. You will get the strength to leave. He doesnt love you and that is his downfall.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): you're probably just so used to being with him thats the only way you knowhow to measure your day. its like a routine, and its horrible, but comfortable. but the hard thing is when you try to 'convince' yourself that its worth staying with him (if you do), well its not like you're convincing, because you don't need to be convinced, you WANT to stay with him. tough one, but id talk to him, if he cant be arsed talking, then scream in his face. if he laughs/walks away, THEN tell him its enough.
|
