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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,i always ask about my boyfriend's ex, but he can't even tell anything about what they've gone through and they were together for 1 yr. and 3 months. did he even love her? all he says is that she's really pretty she looks like this one artist, but he said i'm prettier.. then he added but she's sexy, she has a big ass! that's when i got pissed off! it's like i'm not sexy, most people say i have a nice body and a big ass! he's the only one who doesn't notice it or maybe he does, he just doesn't want to tell me! i asked him "don't i have a big ass?" he said his ex is bigger! i hate being compared, but i just can't help myself asking about his ex.. i broke up with him and said go back to his ex. well, after a week he came back to me. i accepted him but then someone called me, his ex. she said they got back together! i wanted to talk to her so i met up with her, she was crying. finally i got to see her, she's not that pretty nor sexy. i didn't notice her ass. i felt sorry for the girl so i broke up with him. after a day my boyfriend wanted to get back to me and said he's really sorry, the girl said it's up to me if i'll accept him and i did again! now i always argue with him of why he compared me to his ex then all of it was lies! that's what i hate about him, he tells lies to make me feel insecure. but now he's always saying that i'm pretty and sexy, but i hate it coz' it reminds me of what he said about his ex before! well, he says i'm prettier, but he never said i'm sexier than his ex which i am! and that i have a bigger ass! i know this is not big of a deal, but if he loves me shouldn't he help build my self-confidence? it's like ever since he compared me, i always became conscious of myself. i always wanted to look pretty and sexy then everytime i wear something sexy, he doesn't like it! why is he like that? i'm still waiting for him to say that i'm sexier and that i have a bigger ass! i know i sound stupid, why am i acting like this anyway? hope you could answer all my questions.. thanks!
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broke up, got back together, his ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 You've put yourself in the 18-21 year old category. You need to strive to reach that maturity level, then you will realize how ridiculously you are behaving. For crying out loud quit asking your boyfriend stupid questions and try to just relax and have some fun.
A
female
reader, fairhalflin  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 so in other words you want him to lie to you? he doesn't want to talk about his ex! period! if you dont want to hear about her, then dont ask...simple as that!...if you saw her and she isn't as pretty as you or whatever then...you should feel better about yourself. you shouldn't care if you're prettier than her...you should be worried if he thinks that she's a better person than you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): Next time he is watching TV, stand in front of him until he compliments your big ass, then STOP asking him about his ex and stop comparing yourself to her....it is sad that you are more concerned what he thinks of your body than what he thinks of you like does he like your laugh, your sense of humor, your personality, your character, but I guess at your age you think your body is the main event...it probably is, so don't waste your time getting mad over him saying positive things about his ex when you are pushing him to say them in the first place....guys tend to go for a type anyway, and maybe you have some physical characteristics in common, like the big ass.....
Take care, dear.
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A
female
reader, DeeDoc +, writes (7 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: I believe you are acting this way due to the fact that you do not have the 411 on their past relationship. The good part about this is, you have great self-esteem. You don't need anyone to tell you that you are beautiful and/or you are sportin a healthy rear-end. As long as you know that you are is all that matters. Yes, it feels good when your mate tells you, but they should not compare. So, you have met her, saw her, apparently you feel better because you feel that you look better than she does. If he gave her great compliments and you do not feel she fits the profile, just imagine what he really thinks of you! I believe he thinks that you are one sexy mama! Good for you.
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