A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was camping with a bunch of people and one of the guys brought his girlfriend and her friend. Her friend was cute and very flirty. I have a girlfriend we've been together a couple months. Every time me and my girlfriend have sex I don't cum which is cause I think I masturbate too much. So just over a week ago I told her my girlfriend that I would stop masturbating for a bit so I could cum for her. We still haven't and I haven't even heard from her since last thurs cause her phone got turned off so she messaged me on facebook and told me about her phone. She hasn't talked to me since. I over think things a lot and maybe shes been busy but any way I was really horny and drunk and that girl that was camping with us was very flirty and wanted me I fought it for a little bit but was too weak and gave in and slept with her but didn't cum for her either. I love my girlfriend but am confused with her and I really missed her so im not sure if that also led me to having sex with that girl. What should I do? Please I need advice. Ive against cheating and I hate myself for it. Should I tell her? Or just never cheat again and just be a better person. I've just quit my job a couple weeks ago cause I was depressed and still am. Please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013): Probably not what you want to hear, but you already know what you should do. Tell the truth, you made a mistake and now you got to deal with the repercussions.
No one deserves to be cheated on at all, and you should of never put yourself in a position to do that.
there is not excuse for what you did, and this could be the opportunity to turn your relationship around and work on that communication that you said your relationship is lacking in.
obviously youre taking this pretty hard but out of love and respect for your girlfriend you need to be honest. it'll make you feel a heck of a lot better too
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do love her a lot but the communication is bad and it drives me crazy. I was addicted to porn and masturbating but I stopped for her and it's really hard. I know someone said I was immature which I could understand. I quit my job cause I couldn't take it anymore I was at a low point in my life and I mean really low and needed time to refocus my life. If you knew me you'd understand. I'm really hard on myself all the time even before this. I really don't want to hurt her by telling her cause she is going through a lot right now. There's more for me to say but can't right now will later
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 May 2012):
 If you try and hide this, never tell her, vow to "never cheat again", then there will never be a day in your life that you could ever aspire to be a better person, because every day you're with her is a betrayal to her now.
You're depressed, quit your job, were "weak", horny, drunk, confused? How would you feel if your girlfriend had cheated on you? What if she gave the excuse that another man seduced her and that she was drunk, horny, and "too weak"? You would be devastated.
Face it, if it's this easy to cheat on your girlfriend, then you should not be in a relationship now. And how are you supporting yourself if you just walked away from your job?
There's a word for what you are, and I actually don't mean it as an insult, but rather as a reason for the way you're acting.
The word is IMMATURE. Quit your job, cheat on your girlfriend just like that, rush to try and hide it from her, not to mention that you're not looking a porn addiction straight in the eye and making a serious effort to break that pattern of overstimulation that's keeping you from intimacy with a woman.
Usually, missing a girlfriend makes you want to have sex with that girl, not go and get drunk and screw anything with legs. I think you're not mature enough for a relationship with anyone right now. I also think that you've got to go more than 1 day without porn/masturbation to call it a "holding off" because you're way too desensitized to your hand and sexual images bombarding your brain.
Facing the consequences of your actions, telling your girlfriend, and letting her make her own decisions goes a long way towards growing up and owning up to your actions. But going forward knowing that you not only cheated on her, but cheating so cheaply (I was drunk and horny and weak one weekend) that it wasn't even worth it.
You're on a self-destructive path. Are you also "too week" to do a 180 and grow up, or will you blame a lot of other bad choices on personal weakness?
Your choice. There shouldn't be any confusion.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (29 May 2012):
 Tell your girlfriend what you've done. Just because you say you'll never do it again doesn't mean she should be kept in the dark about this. She deserves honesty and the right to decide whether she wants to be with someone who disrespected her. If she forgives you then great, if she doesn't, move on. But you should tell her, because she'll find out sooner or later.
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A
female
reader, Sad eyed gurrl +, writes (29 May 2012):
First off ask yourself if you really love your girlfriend.. Then, think about the the pain and misery your feelin knowing you did something so deceiptful to the one you care deeply for. Now be a man and tell her.. If your sincere about how you feel and vow to never let your ass override your heart again, she may forgive u.. Then again you could lose her.. Either way, if the shoe was on the other foot wouldnt you want to know the truth.. Secrets DESTROY a relationship.. Do what feels right in your heart....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): "I had sex with this girl, but I have a girlfriend, what should I do?"
Stop being a wuss and take full responsibility for your actions while being prepared to accept all the consequences without any more whining, rationalizing or excuse-making.
You bleeped up, you pay the price, nobody else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): If you love your girlfriend you shouldnt have cheated, but everyone makes mistakes. also cheating creates proublems with that person forever, even if you dont tell her you still know you did wrong to her and you will always think about it. I think if you love her, you should respect her enouph to tell her what had happened and not use drinking as an excuse. If she cheated on you would you be more hurt by if she was honest and told you or let you think she wasnt doing anything wrong and didnt tell yyou? then it looks like you dont care and you feel you did no wrong. Trust me, not telling her is not a smart move on your part, she could find out from someone else and for sure not even think twice about breaking up with you. If you love her please tell! I wish you luck and best of wishes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): Sometimes it best o deal with the consequences that come along with a situation. You know what you did was wrong and it bothers you, but out of respect and love for your girlfriend you should tell her.
Also it seems as if you and your girlfriend don't really make an effort to speak to each other. Communication strengthens the relationship and that may be the reason why you cheated, or because of the fact that you wanted and missed the affection of your girlfriend. Whatever the case, its sill wrong. It may be hard to tell her what happened and why it happened but its always the better option, better for her to hear it from you then someone else.
Think of how you would feel if the tables would turn, would you rather for her to tell you what happened and work it out?
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