A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I fix my marriage? We are married 5yrs and both age 27. For 2yrs my husbby has had a fantasy for me to fuck a hung man. I have resisted. We have used this as fantasy sex talk. Fri night we went out together to a bar and met friends. Later us, 2 cples, and 5 sngle frnds went to our frnds house. We drank a lot. We played truth or dare. We sat about in thongs, bra, boxers, or just pantyhose/me. Things got more sexual and I was asked how big my hubbys cock was. I replied about 4 and kinda thin. Later I was dared to go into the bedroom and play with X who is single. Long story short we came out almost an hour later, me carrying my pantyhose blotting up Xs sperm running down my thighs. When we got home my hubby got sloppy 2nds and gave me great sex! Then Sat hubby is angry and said I made him look like a fool. Is he right? I did what he wanted. What do I do now to make it better? I Love my hubby! He satisfys me and makes me happy! Help please!
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (1 May 2019):
 WTF? From bedroom fantasy to reality, yes well this is the end result. I would assume he is pissed because this occurred out of the blue and in front of others. Maybe his take on acting out this fantasy was to be of a more private nature between him ,you and whomever and with some sort of boundaries and discussion as to how it would play out. Instead, he has it thrust upon him. I guess this made him look rather emasculated in front of a group rather than, like I mentioned, a private encounter. "4 and kinda thin" sounds like " small and kinda loose" if asked about your V-jay Jay. His anger, no doubt came from now having a clear head and not one caught up in the moment under a drunken influence. You simply cant use your actions as justified to go ahead based on his TALK of fantasy. Your both at fault here and acknowledgement from both of you to each other I think the first step in trying redeem whatever it is you have left. I wouldn't predict any quick fix, if at all. Baby steps and forgiveness is all you both can ask for. Good luck I hope things work out for you
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2019): We have the same fantasy, watch wife be unfaithful. Four times she had a chance at clubs, and I blocked it. I didn't like the guys or it was too close to home. But it's fun watching my saintly wife get slutty.
The best one I didn't block. She was flirting while on vacation at a beach bar. He was 10 years younger than her and good looking. I gave her a real long leash to play him. He was married too, his wife was in their room and they really had no place to get it on. She says she should have asked him to walk the beach and maybe a bj there. He really put a hop in her step for months, we still talk about him years later. "shoulda coulda woulda" she says.
That party you got laid at was an embarrassment. But he should get over it. If it comes up among friends, own it. Say it was a big mistake while you were drunk. Your husband isn't at all innocent either. I would get my wife out of that party.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2019): Do 20 somethings even wear pantyhose? I don’t think so.
Cuckhold fantasies are pretty common so no sweat there. The rest of this post suggests you aren’t really intelligent enough to make smart choices .
Unprotected sex, pantyhose wearing— get to your gyno ASAP . You’ll have a yeast infection at the least and possibly other maladies.
As for the marriage saving thing. Get pro help coz you don’t have the smarts to fix it by yourself
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A
male
reader, justadebbiedowner +, writes (28 April 2019):
It seems to me that this was poorly planned out, though I'm not going to have the same condescending tone that I have seen on this thread. I think the way this went down wasn't the right way to go because it happened during a drinking game, now when you two were together. The details on how you went from him saying "hey, I have a fantasy" to choosing to have sex with "X" are not there, and I realize that is a lot for a post but it is necessary to fully understand YOUR situation. I agree with these folks that have responded in this: there is damage done here and that is what needs to be addressed first. It's not as good as over with your husband, but it COULD be. That depends on how thorough and willing the both of you are to repair what you have. I don't always think "Hot-wifing" and "Cuckolding" are a doom to a marriage but I also think most marriages cannot survive it. A one time deal? I think you both can get past it but you both have to give it an effort.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2019): I want to laugh because I feel like this isn't real. If it is, you deserve a big (metaphorical) slap of reality. No, you don't shame your husband's penis. No, you don't hook up with another guy for a dare. No, you don't get drunk enough to make stupid decisions.
Look, you didn't KNOW that guy had a big member like your husband's fantasy, so you hooking up with him was because YOU wanted to.
Fantasies involving other people in a committed relationship stay fantasies or ruin relationships. Your marriage is doomed. If you were both naive enough to end up in this situation, you weren't mature enough to be committed in the first place.
I know this will all sound harsh, but you CHOSE to hook up with a guy. Your husband realised it wasn't as sexy as he thought for you to be with another guy. To add insult to injury, you shared around his penis size.
Top Tip: DON'T DRINK and DON'T be so naive.
People make mistakes, but this was just bad judgement, not a mistake. He encouraged you, you then did it because you wanted to (not just for him), then you shamed him and it's all fallen apart.
Ultimately, you should have come here BEFORE this happened and we could have all warned you that this would happen. Unfortunately, it's too late. Give him space, then discuss the next step to see if it's possible to fix it. Chances are, if this is what he wanted you to do and what you decided to do, you're not matched well anyway.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (28 April 2019):
 Be careful what you wish for. What you may THINK you want may not be what you really want at all.
This situation has disaster written all over and I agree with the other aunts/uncles your marriage will probably not survive this.
You humiliated and embarrassed your husband in more way than one. I highly doubt if he'll ever get over what he heard, seen, thinks of and the fact that your friends know about what you did.
If you two want to try and make it work, sit down talk it out and go to a counselor. I wouldn't be surprised if your husband wants a revenge screw. Neither one of you seem very mature sadly.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (28 April 2019):
 I do have to wonder if this is for real or is this just more of your fantasy? Your graphic description reads like something out of a bad porn mag. I may be of an older generation to you, but I have to ask: who sits around at parties in their underwear unless sex (with strangers) is the end goal?
If this post IS for real, then you have learned a painful lesson, one which may ultimately cost you your marriage. As others have pointed out (and as you should have known), there is a HUGE difference between fantasy and reality, the main point being that, in fantasy, the person fantasizing is in control of what happens. All sense of control is lost once this crosses the boundary into reality.
Your husband feels humiliated (unsurprisingly) and like he has lost control of his life. Your behaviour was not because you were trying to please HIM; it was because YOU wanted to have sex with this guy and decided to use your husband's fantasy as an excuse. What the hell HE was doing allowing this to happen, let alone allowing it to continue for an hour, is beyond my understanding.
IF this post is for real, I want to bang your heads together and tell you both to grow up and stop treating your marriage so casually. Whether you can save your marriage is anyone's guess. To be frank, you deserve each other. You are both equally to blame. Perhaps acknowledging that would be a good starting point to rebuilding your marriage.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 April 2019):
 You are 27... OLD enough to KNOW better. playing drunk truth or dare? Having unprotected sex? Sharing your husband's penis size?
SERIOUSLY? Were you TRYING to wreck your marriage?
Just because your husband hand a fantasy of you having sex with someone else doesn't mean you HAD to do it.
The words NO, but we can role-play the fantasy. Would do and if he kept asking tell him enough. SET some frigging BOUNDARIES.
And there is a HUGE difference between a fantasy and reality. NOW you both know that ADDING more people to your sex-life is NOT really a good idea.
Maybe he really DIDN'T want you to go screw someone at some drunken party. But he didn't really speak up either. He should have.
Yes, you humiliated your husband by bringing up his penis description. Did you HAVE to do that? NO. You could have said he fits me. The end.
I think this whole fantasy of his is because he feels inadequate (size wise) and was pressuring you to try it with a "hung" guy because he thinks that is what ALL the ladies want.. a big dick. So what he PERHAPS was saying in a really odd and roundabout way... was that he WANTED you to KEEP telling HIM that HE was enough, his penis big enough and that you DIDN'T need or want someone else dick.
It went right over your head.
Now this whole clusterfu@k is not just YOUR fault. You DID take advantage of it, but HE set it up. He's spend 2 years trying to set it up and when it didn't live up to his expectations or REAL fantasy... He is now pissed off.
I agree, give him some time, STOP apologizing and when he is ready you two talk like GROWN ASS people.
And SET SOME frigging boundaries!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 April 2019):
 All these years at DC and there's still that post once in a while that renders you speechless. Not because of it's shock value but because you think, how on earth could people be THAT stupid?
I hope your realise now that your marriage is as good as over and I doubt if counseling can help you. I don't even know if this is for real or a troll. How can you possibly think that you "did what he wanted" and so why is your husband mad at you now? Do you even realise what both of you have gotten yourselves into? And like N91, I too can't help but wonder, what on EARTH was your husband doing for that hour when you and your lover boy were fucking each others brains out? It's not that it was a quickie... It went on for a whole hour! Look either this is all fake and this post is just meant to rile us up or there better be some really good explanation to this.
Oh and you know what, contrary to what you say, you don't love your husband and neither do you respect the sanctity of marriage. You have both made a mockery of it. I wouldn't put it past ether of you to come up with the suggestion that your husband now can have sex with someone else for an hour to get "even".
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2019): I guess give it time. You did a lot there. I mean me And my gf had this fantasy, and she was against it. The idea of me and my friend playing with her, she started liking the thoughts. Few months later she openly admitted she would like threesome with him at a party. It didn’t happen however I let her text him. She was very honest with me, but I found her getting up early morning to send him pics. The bit that got me was when she didn’t want to, or she was busy she would still make effort for my friend as long as he was satisfied. She also asked many times but I pulled out and since it never happened.
Maybe I’m glad I didn’t go ahead with it.
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A
male
reader, Pepi let pew +, writes (28 April 2019):
 Stupidity... Your bond together will never be the same. When your having sex he will be wondering if your thinking about him or mr X. You didnt want to do this but you gave in because you love your husband and thought that this would excite him and make him happy. Now he says you made him look like a fool and hes angry. What are you spose to do..? Dont tell me hes upset because you enjoyed your time with Mr X. This is what your husband wanted. Ill aske you where is the respect for the relationship. Where is the respect for yourselfs. Relationships are hard enough and they need work without this demon you created to cause more issues. You did what he wanted you to do. You did nothing wrong. He owes you the apology. Goodluck reaping what hes sown..
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 April 2019):
 Posts like yours I wish I could pin and send to everyone who comes on here talking about the same kind of fantasy your husband has been pressuring you with for 2 years.
Your husband is confronting the truth that fantasy and reality are often extremely vast, and for two years, he didn't realize exactly what he was pressuring you to do.
As for you, you need to stop apologizing, because he owes you an apology as well for pressuring you. Both of you need counseling now - him because he has to process his jealousy and territorial hackles that are now raised up because another man's been with you, AND he's most upset because he's tortured with the idea that YOU LIKED IT. Whether you did or didn't is irrelevant.
Give him a little time, then tell him you both need to go to counseling in order to see how to proceed forward. Don't allow him to mistreat you or sulk or berate or verbally or emotionally abuse you. If he calls you names, call him out on it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2019): You dont sound mature enough to be married..
The fact you had another mans sperm running down your thigh shoes no protection was used which is total disrespect for yourself and your husbands jealth.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (28 April 2019):
 What was your husband doing whilst this ‘dare’ was going on? Why didn’t he say right there and then that he didn’t want it to happen?
You say he wanted it to happen, but where exactly did he ASK for this to occur? He said it was a FANTASY and that is merely what it is. A fantasy. An image in someone’s head picturing something happening, that doesn’t mean somebody wants the actual act to happen does it?
I think if your husband just sat by and let this happen rather than speak up in front of everyone to stop it then you’re both as foolish as each other. Introducing other people into the bedroom is rarely a good idea and you’ve seen why first hand.
Give the guy some time and let him figure things out. When he’s ready to talk about it then discuss and see where things go.
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