A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hey, something has been bothering me! I've been in a relationship with a girl for 3 months, she's a nice, respectful girl! What's bothering is that she's a virgin and I think she thinks I'm a virgin also. A few months back before the relationship I had sex with 2 girls who aren't realy considered nice (I'm just putting slutty, ugly, skumbags in a nice way). I doubt very much my girlfriend will like it if I told her. I'm pretty sure that she will find out eventually because people do know about me having sex with them. I'm just wondering should I just tell her? Will she be disgusted if she found out? I regret all of it because I was drunk the 2 times I did it! What's the worst thing that could happen if I told her? The reason I'm worried is because I imagine my girlfriend treats sex as a serious matter and should only be done when someone finds the right person! What do I do? I don't want to mess up the relationship!
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male
reader, thereIgothinking  +, writes (26 March 2009):
Gosh no -- don't tell her. It could be considered mean or that you are boasting which isn't attractive. The worst thing that could happen would be that she doesn't want to have anything to do with you, and you have to prepared for that possibility.If she finds out, and she cares for you, she will ask you about it. Have your answer ready -- you don't kiss and tell, you learned a lot from the experience, you wanted to pop your cherry and you wished you could take it back -- whatever the HONEST answer is. Don't apologize, be a man about it, and say you're thrilled you have her now.Sluts are history and girlfriends/wives are the future for maturing men, even if you are 18.
A
female
reader, bOy CrAzY;} +, writes (25 March 2009):
Okay dude first off not a wise decision having sex with those girls!! But you have to TELL her before she finds out on her own !! I mean you don't have to tell her all of the dirty details but you have to tell her and if she loves you she will respect that you told her the truth;). Good luck with that;)
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A
male
reader, DLover  + ♥, writes (25 March 2009):
I agree with Danielepew, you should tell her you did have sex before, but respect your ex's privacy and don't give details.
There is a good reason for this: she WILL know someday: you better be in control of the moment when she does: tell her.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Just say that you need to get something off your chest as you don't want to mislead her! Then tell her you have had sex. I'm sure evrything will o fine.x
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (24 March 2009):
 I think you should tell her you had sex before. No details about who they were, what happened, when, et cetera, because the girls you call "scumbags" don't need their private life exposed. I think you don't owe your girl any explanations about your previous sex life. You and her were not involved, and that's it. She doesn't owe you any explanations, either. You do need to be honest with her; and, also, it's best if your girl knows exactly who you are, because that way she will love the real person and not the image of you she has in her mind.
Also, I would recommend having a more understanding attitude towards girls you sleep with. All human beings have flaws, and sleeping around is certainly not the worst of all flaws. If we are judgmental about their behavior, then we should say that they shouldn't have slept with you. And, you shouldn't have slept with them, either. Being drunk is no excuse. Ah, you shouldn't have drunk, either.
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A
male
reader, funnyintit +, writes (24 March 2009):
 bro dont bring it up unless the convesation kinda comes up naturally! dont force it!
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Take it easy bro, tell you GF. She'll be cool if she "loves" you enough. But if you really did it after you started dating, god help your arse! She will eventually find out.
If she's religious then im sorry to say. it'll be a tough one, as some girls like to wait for marrage if she's that type? there's lots of them out there, more than you think!
So just be honest and tell her straight best to get it off your chest.
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A
female
reader, AskEve + ♥, writes (24 March 2009):
 I wouldn't make a big thing of it. Wait until you get onto the subject and that will happen the more you get to know one another. IF she brings the subject up (asks questions about how many you've slept with etc) then just be honest with her. Don't make a big announcement to her about it though and the less details the better. What's past is past, we all do things we're not proud of in the past. Just concentrate on what you have with her NOW and if the subject comes up... then be honest. Until then, put it out of your head and enjoy your time together.
~Eve~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk i will tell her! But how can i bring something like that up? We've never talked about anything regards to sex yet!
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A
male
reader, funnyintit +, writes (24 March 2009):
If she likes you she won't judge you much for it, especially if you wait for her, considering she's a virgin... she will realise how much you like her if you do... nearly every fella has been where you are, myself included... having sex with people you wish you hadn't... of course it was good at the time but sure.... judging by the way you're talking, you live in a place where she's gonna be told at some point if you dont.... don't tell her unless it comes up in conversation, then be honest about what you done, but be honest to her and your feelings about her too.... slan!
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A
male
reader, Moviefan + ♥, writes (24 March 2009):
 Sometimes i wish i had to deal with problems like this, mainly because Ive never even had my first kiss let alone any kind of sex and im freaking 18 years old. Yet at the same time im glade i don't have to deal with all this, my friend did stuff like this and he is really regretting it right now because he is sick of dating slutty girls.
Personally i would rather have a nice, friendly, cute girl then one that puts out immediately.
My friend i talked about previosly had to deal with this a few weeks ago and Ill tell you what i told him,
TELL HER NOW OR SHE WILL BE x9000 MORE FRUSTRATED AND INFURIATED WHEN SHE DOES FIND OUT!!!!
Just tell her, and tell her ywhat you just told us, and that you are done doing stuff like that and why.
Everything should go fine, good luck.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (24 March 2009):
 I think you should tell her. If you hide it and she finds out she will be crashed.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (24 March 2009):
you need to tell her because if it comes out at a later date she will be outraged. just tell her that you have had sex previously (only give extra details if she asks) and then say that you ere scared of telling her and realise that having sex with someone is not something that is decided lightly. say that you wanted to tell her as you respect her!!! just explain that you now have similar views regarding sex as she does, after making these mistakes. if she asks for details keep it very simple, dont give out any positions and gory details.... if she knows these girls then tell her names if she asks, if she doesnt know them then dont go into it. xx
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