A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i made the silly mistake of having unprotected sex with my boyfriend and as a result became pregnant. I never found out i was pregnant until i was over 7 weeks gone like the feeling sick and tiredness etc. I had missed my period so decided to do a test and it was positive. Me and my boyfriend decided that we were in no position to have children as we still live at home and dont have much money so my doctor referred me to hospital to have a surgical abortion.The staff were really nice and nobody judged me. I felt taken care of and my boyfriend was very loving and supportive of my decision. I had the procedure under general anasthetic and when i woke up i immediatley felt better and the sickness, breat tenderness and tiredness had gone. Allthough i feel like it was the right thing to do i feel so empty and i have overwhelming guilt for what ive done. I feel bad that there are people out there who want children and cant have them, i feel like i have really taken the p**s with what ive done. I could have had my child and made an infertile couple happy with the adoption of my baby. I obsess about the people i know with children and when im around babies i just want to cry. I even worked out my due date which would have been new years day !! I think about the abortion every day and its ruling my life. I feel like i have done the most awful thing and that i have gambled with nature. I will spend years wondering who my child would have been. I know there are other women who may feel the same and if there is plz offer advice. I am only young and have the rest of my life to have a child, but i feel numb for what ive done. I feel like i should be punished !! Plz help x x
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female
reader, cocoqueen88  +, writes (30 July 2010):
 I've gone through the same thing and you never really get over it but it does get better over time. try writing all your feelings down in a journal and see if that helps. if not then find a support group.
A
female
reader, Catflap1 +, writes (30 July 2010):
I did that and I know how you feel, especially after I did actually have a baby because I wondered what the other would have looked like. This is a choice that society gives us, along with a load of others, but we don't get the advice we need before deciding. I was angry because I thought I should have had better support beforehand so I knew what to expect. The places you can go to give bland advice as they have to be careful not to influence with a personal opinion. That is rubbish! However, you will get over it even though you will sometimes remember. When you do get your own you will be a good Mum, because you are a caring person. Use your feelings in that way, positively, give something more to the babies you do have. You will find yourself caring more about others generally and that is no waste.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 July 2010):
 I suggest you find a support group or call a hot line. It's pretty common for women to go through a HUGE amount of guilt, loss and self loathing after a abortion.
I had a miscarriage 20 years ago. It was a pregnancy I didn't want either and as much as the miscarriage was a blessing in disguise it took me quite a while to get over. For a LONG time I though I had the miscarriage because I didn't want the baby. Silly I know.
Another thing you need to realize is when you become pregnant there is a tremendous surge of hormones in your body, and some of those stay for quite a while even after you have an abortion. They do tend to make women a LOT more emotional.
Accept, that you did what you felt was best at the time. Best for YOU.
Find a support-group on the web or near you, call a hot line, talk to others who have been through this.
And be super careful with protection from now on.
One day you will CHOOSE to have a child and be a great mother.
*chin up*
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A
female
reader, Over..worried.  +, writes (30 July 2010):
 Even if you had kept the baby, and gave it up for adoption chances are you would still feel the same way. I close friend of mine gave up her baby and it's been 5 years she still sits there wondering what she's like (it's a closed adoption)
I think maybe you just have to be able to talk to other women who are having troubles coping with the abortion.
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