A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a sex only relationship wit this guy. I got the idea he didn't wanna be all serious so I told him we can just call each other for those reasons. Before I didn't wanna go to the movies or dinner wit him cause I just go out an relationship now I wanna do more then just have sex! What do I do? If I tell him I might scare him off!! I know he likes me cause when we met it was to start seeing each other. ? I'm lost! What do I tell him or hint somethin to him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, swalk7  +, writes (16 June 2008):
I think you should finish with him - guys usually hate it when you sack them, especially from a sex only thing - loss of access and all that, worries their performance wasn't up to scratch. - But you have to do this as gently as possible....
Say that it doesn't suit you anymore just to have the sex only, and that you have to move on - but that you would like to keep in touch, and maybe go for the occasional drink or whatever. -
That way, so long as he doesn't get too pee'd - you may be able to start a different type of relationship.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Hi ,
Just tell him. Or better, next time you are about to meet up tell him to meet you somewhere , a coffee shop or whatever where you have to spend some time together. If he doesnt want to then chances are you know where you will stand.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (4 May 2008):
 I agree with the other agony aunts, just tell him.
He can only say yes/no but at least then you will know and if its a yes, well great you already know him intimatly so go and get to know all of him.
But be careful, if you have decided that it is a proper relationship you want and are ready for and he says he does not want one, then you need to finish it and not just continue the sexual one, you say you want a relationship so that is what you will have to find, finish one before you start another.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): I agree with Daniel, cricky girl you are open enough to have sex with him, but can't say you would like to have a relationship about more than just sex?
For goodness sakes, just say, you have changed your mind about it meaning nothing, you now like him and is he interested in something more!.
If he says no, he just wants sex, then you know your with the wrong guy. And if he says no, at least it has put you out of your misery. But stop playing games. He probably has no idea you no are more interested. He is just going with the flow. If you want the flow to change, change it and deal with whatever the outcome is.
Just don't waste your time and efforts if your both on different pages.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 I'm always against hints. By their very nature, they can be interpreted in more than one way.
If you're confident enough to have sex with this guy, I think you shouldn't feel afraid of telling him that you want a relationship.
You need to get your heart ready for a "no" as an answer.
Take care.
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