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I gained weight after we broke up, and now I'm terribly unhappy.

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *uli writes:

I really need help I dont know what to do in my life i feel confused I really miss my rx boyfriend I would love to go back with him but I gained lots of weight I use to weight 120 and now im 200 I go on diets but I end up eating junk food again I have families that saw me when I was skinney and now that im fat they ignore me they make fun of me behind my back they even deleted me off facebook omg I feel lost when I was with my ex boyfriend I was inlove I was the happiest girl in the world thats how I felt he took my virginity and now im left with nothing but hate my life is getting worst without him I cry with hate and now its one year in ahalf almost 2 years I hadnt seen him its harming me ibet he dont feel anthing for me anymore its hard to fall inlove again cause no one treats me the way he did omg im losing everything help me pls help give me any tips to feel better thanxs.

View related questions: broke up, facebook, my ex

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A female reader, yuli United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you I am going to try that! :)

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (31 August 2011):

Moo's Mum agony auntJust to add to Female Anon's excellent advice adopt the Fake it until you make it strategy. If you put a big smile on your face and act confident and happy your brain will soon accept that that's how you feel and pretty soon you will find you are not having to fake it any more. This works a treat for me!

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A female reader, yuli United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

yuli is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Aww thanks for your advice :'(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011):

Hello hun,

Hey cheer up! Its alright, it wont be this way forever. Your boyfriend should love you for who you are inside, not your figure, so if hes not taking you back because youve gained weight, then hes not worth the heart ache. And sweetie, as far as the weight issue is concerned, try to relax a little. Im not saying gourge yourself on sweets and crisps, but just try to get yourself into a more stable mindset before thinking about dieting again (if thats what your planning). My suggestion would be, sit down, maybe treat yourself to a good movie or peducure and weite a list about all the good things about leaving your boyfriend. Maybe he had some annoying habbit that you no longer have to put up with? A funny smell on his clothes? Bad breath? It could be anything. If it helps, maybe write it all down in a letter explaining how youll find plenty of other cute guys (which you will!). You dont have to actually send this to your ex, but you would be suprised what getting your feelings down on paper can do for your confidence. Also have you got any people your close to who you can confinde in? Becasue right now you seem to be crying out for someone to talk to. Oviously your family arnt being very supportive, but you need to know that its not your fault, their very wrong to ignore you like this. A close friend or someone you have known for a long while will do just fine. If all else fails, although it may seem daunting, you could go to a therapist whi will help you work through your problems professionaly. Alot of people are reluctant to do this but i have suffered from depression all my life, and seeing a doctor or someone who is trained in this sort of thing can be very benificial. If you want to confront your family, try sending a letter of a quick email, explaiming how you feel and why (or even IF) they are acting this way or ignoring you. Dont be offended by the response. It may well be they are not ignoring you, you just havnt had the time or need to talk. If this is the case then you should really open up to them and it should help you knowing you have some people you trust. Also once your mental state is good again, if your weight is really knocking your confidence, maybe have a chat with your GP or doctor. They may have some suggestions or weight loss aids to start you off. In the mean time, try to distract yourself by having a bit of fun for a change. By the sounds of things youve been down for a while now, so go out on a girly nite out, see a movie, get your nails done, you know, that sort of thing. Just whatever you do, try not to over analise things because if you do this, then you will eventually convince yourself its your fault, which it cirtainly isnt my dear!

I wish you all the best and please let me know if i helped you xxx

Good luck! (-;

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