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I found porn on my dads computer - help!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 August 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 August 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

i found pornography on my dads computer a couple of days ago. i have always been sensitive and an only child and led a very sheltered life. i know hardly anything about sexual things or anything like that and find porn quite revolting myself. I dont know how to react to what i saw.my dad is 38 years old. is it normal?

p.s everyone in my class seems to know what an orgasm is - i dont! what is it??

View related questions: orgasm, porn

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008):

Your parents should be sheltering you from exposure to this trash, it's not for children and it shouldn't be for adults either but apparently in our society people have lost all respect for the sanctity of sex in a married relationship.

I am sorry you had to see this, please be forward with your dad and tell him you saw it, he needs to know.

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A female reader, belladonna123 Tonga +, writes (10 August 2008):

How refreshing! A young innocent flower that doesn't know about sex.Honey, don't worry about your Dad, he's a guy, all guys look at porn!ALL OF THEM!And yes, it's very noraml. Of course it's natural to be a bit disgusted when you see your parents do it too so just don't look at it again. I knew my Dad was looking at that stuff when I was a kid, and I was like "eww gross". It's sweet that in today's world you don't know about this. I find children to be way to knowledgable on the subject.

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2008):

Country Woman agony auntSweetheart I think a girl always sees her parents as ideal role models and when you find out something by accident it knocks the whole image of this perfect person in your life.

When I was about your age I found out that my dad used to keep page 3 girls photos out of the Sun newspaper and I was so appalled and I used to start cutting out that particular page out of the newspaper so my dad couldn't see these girls topless. I have an older sister who is 3 years older than me but it just made me so mad and so he knew how I felt. Things have moved on a lot since then but someone of your age should feel safe to go onto the family computer and not have to see something your mum or dad is looking at for their own purposes.

I guess talking to your dad would be too embarrassing for you so I would approach your mum and say what you have seen and how you feel about it all and how shocked you were. Maybe they may sit you down and talk more openly about it or maybe your dad might think about putting certain filters on the computer so that you cannot access those areas if you are scanning things on the internet for school or for fun.

Parents have a responsibility to safeguard what their children see whether that is on the TV, internet or what DVD's they are allowed to watch.

Seeing porn is very normal for a man of your dad's age and infact your mum as well. We never like to think of our parents as being sexual at any time in our lives but if they weren't none of us would be here. It is a normal activity but do talk to your mum and ask for her help and understanding and explain to her how confused you are about sex and say how much you would like to know more facts from them rather than school or complete strangers as I think some of the advice you have received can be too much to take in for someone of your age and as you have been quite sheltered this could play on your mind quite a bit.

Just talk sweetheart and don't worry I think once your dad is aware from your mum telling him he will put safeguards in place so that this does not happen in the future OK.

We are all here for you so if you want to let us know how things are going please do and don't ever be afraid to ask for any advice about anything it is always confidential OK. We are just lots of people who want to help anyone who needs it regardless of their age OK.

Take care and don't stress out too much about this but do talk to your mum no matter how hard it is to broach the subject it will be fine believe me.

BFN

Country Woman

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008):

Differnt people are brought up in differnt ways and differnt surroundings. As you have grown up you have had less information about the sexual side to life so you may find it revolting as you said. However, it is a prefectly normal thing for a 38 year old male to watch porn. It just may have shocked you as you have found it. About your class mates some may not know they may just say they do. ALso try not to rust finding out about the sexual side to life because other people know that are your age. You will find out just in time.

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A female reader, doodles362 United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2008):

doodles362 agony auntIt's surprising, but most guy AND women watch porn as they head into they're mid-life crisis.And he's 38 he's nearly in his mid-life crisis. I wouldnt worry about it too much if i were you just try to forget about it. Or if you really can't ask him about it. I d agree with you that porn is quite revolting though.

and to answer your second half of the question..arent you a bit young to be asking about orgasms?? Remember you need to be 16 to have sex.

An orgasm is the climax of sexual excitement, experienced as an intensely pleasurable sensation caused by a series of strong involuntary contractions of the muscles of the genital organs.

Both men and women can have an orgasm: men need to orgasm to deposit sperm near the cervix; but women do not necessariluy need an orgasm to get pregnant.

Most importantly, orgasms also help to make sexual intercourse a whole lot more fun and enjoyable!

In women the muscles in the pelvic area and the uterus and vagina will rhythmically contract and relax, and the muscles and joints in your arms and legs may go rigid.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008):

Dear Anonymous,

Porn is (in my opinion) completely okay (depending on what it was). You should approach your father and tell him what you saw and ask him to hide it better. It should not be seen by children of your age and should be hidden from sight. The only person who can tell you how to react is your self, everyone reacts differently to things.

P.S. I do not know if I should explain it but since you have taken your time to ask, I will. An orgasm is the height of sexually pleasure,at which point the male or female Climaxes. I am sorry but I do not feel comfortable in explaining any more to a person of you age. No offence but you should talk to a parent about the type of questions.

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