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I found out my daughter has been having sex since she was 11 !

Tagged as: Family, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Iam worried about my 14 year old daughter Iam starting to think she maybe a nymphomaniac.

I didnt know until recently that she was no longer virgin well after talking with her I now know that she is having sex everyday with her 18 year old boyfriend or a boy her own age from her class at school.

I also found out that she actually lost her virginity on the day of her 11th birthday with her boyfriend who she has been with 3 years now.

I have been told by her teacher that her school work is suffering and she never sees her friends now because she spends all her free time in her bedroom having sex or using her rampant rabbit

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (29 April 2006):

willywombat agony auntI do not believe this is a genuine question. One reason is, how did she afford a rampant rabbit and why would she as forward as to use it within obvious earshot of her mum or dad?

C'mon, please get a little more inventive.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2006):

DrPsych agony auntNymphomania is very rare as a clinical disorder. At first glance this would seem like a girl with poor self esteem who gets attention from sexual interaction with men (and she could be exaggerating her sex life trying to shock you). Of course there are various health implications to her behaviour, but equally there maybe some pretty serious psychological issues here too. Maybe she locks herself in her room due to depression/ anxiety rather than for sexual gratification. Maybe something has happened in her past that you don't know about. Why not seek out a teen counsellor for her in your local community - someone she can talk to on her own terms?

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A female reader, Angelicc United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2006):

Angelicc agony auntThese days the girls and guys are entering into sexual relationship younger and younger. They hear about, read about, see on tv so it was only a matter of time that they would start doing it. many young people dont understand why the fact the the legal age for sexual relationship is 16, they don't understand that there not emotional mature enough to handle the consqunces of a sexual reationship.

many young people who enter into a sexual relationship believe there grown.

unfortunely the relationnship between your daugther and her boyfriend maybe something you cant stop, if you try you may drive them together. and drive you two apart. i guess you just have to wait until it comes to natural end and just be ready to pick up the pieces.

Here what happened to a friend of him in a similar situation as your daughter

My friend began entering into sexual relationship at 12, she was tricked into to believe that her boyfriend loved her, he worn her down to entering into a sexual relationship and would do it whenever he wanted. she believe that there relationship was speical that he was the one and that was why she wanted to please him.they were together a year and half when she fell pregnant, she was scared, she told her boyfriend and he just dumped her called her a slapper and said it wasnt his baby. shes was very depresed and i tried to help her as best i could but she decided to have an abortion. 4 months later she told her mum, her mum was so upset that her daughter had gone thro all of this without her, her mother decieded to send her into a girls boarding school to give her a fresh start. which really as helped her to mature alot, she now happier and as discover that she doesnt need to use sex to keep a guy. she now in a happy healthy year long relationship and has even been sexual active with him yet.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2006):

If you are serious about this matter, you'll get professional help for your daughter. My wife knows a woman in a similar situation (but perhaps worse as her daughter's situation also involved drug abuse and sex with multiple partnersof a variety of ages), who has removed her daughter from public school (to be home schooled by her grandparents); doesn't allow her daughter to be unsupervised at anytime, and has the daughter seeing a psychologist. Naturally the public school administration and school board had to be informed of the reasons for home schooling. Also, I'm not sure if the mother went to the police about the drugs/sex or not.

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A female reader, miss ellie-may +, writes (24 April 2006):

miss ellie-may agony auntfirstly: "her 18 year old boyfriend OR a boy her own age from her class at school." ifs shes bin with her b/f for 3 years then its probs important for it 2 be either one or the other, be4 u even get started on her age or nymphomatic tendancies!

Of course im gonna say "she was 5 years under the legal age wen she started having sex" and whether or not shes a nympho THATS NOT GOOD, and of course im gonna say "her b/f is 18 taking an interest in a 14 year old and at those kinda ages thats a pretty strange age gap", but everyones gonna say that and u already know that stuff rite? it seems to me that the issues youve raised are not concerning the suitability of her b/f or the age she started having sex at, but the fact that she mite be a nympho, i.e. enjoying her sex life "too much".

So many ppl suffer thru sex and it becomes a real issue for them - as wierd as it feels to say this as this about girl who is only 14, if ur only problem is with her liking sex too much, then given that you cant realy stop her doing it without creating real problems in ur relationship, the best way forward is probably just to make sure shes safe and try to just to earn her trust and be there for her to advice, comfort and help...basically just be the mother you'd try to be to a 17 yr old, but a bit sooner than you's like.

If shes bin doing it for 3 years and hasnt had any problems then maybe this is something that you just have to accept that shes ready for.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2006):

What the hell is a 14 year old doing with a rampant rabbit?!?!?!

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A female reader, Sweetie Pie +, writes (24 April 2006):

Sweetie Pie agony auntOMG!I am so very scared for your daughter!She has been having sex since she was 11!

Well you should definetley get her tested and help her with her with her grades BUT dont get pushy you might make her run away and god knows what she will do then!

SWEETIE PIE:)

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2006):

bonym agony auntDear Reader, your daughter is FAR TO YOUNG to be having sexual relationships. I don’t mean to scare you but you need to sit her down and tell her exactly how risky having sex at such a young age is. Firstly, her body is not properly developed, if the wall of her womb is exposed to foreign bodies such as semen, she is susceptible to cancer of the lining of the womb in later life. I know from experience, not from myself, but believe me I know. In addition, she is under age and technically what her boyfriend is doing is rape. He is 18 and she is a minor, in the UK, that is statutory rape. Her school work will suffer because she is consumed with this bloke, and God forbid it so for her, the day the relationship ends, she will be in pieces. You need to try and find out why whe is behaving like this, spend some quality time with her, go out for "girly" days out, shopping, going to the shopping centre, talking and being a mother and daughter. I feel for you, and as I said I don't want to scare you, but this is serious, sexual activity at such a young age isphysically damaging as well as emotional.

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