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I find the thought of my girlfriend with another guy arousing, is there something wrong with me?

Tagged as: Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is something wrong with me?

I don't know why but I find the thought of my girlfriend with other guys very arousing. I don't know why but I do. When she was going out with other guys it hurt like crazy, like I was having an emotional heart attack but now that it's over and I think about those days, I feel aroused by her being with the other guy(I have no idea who the guy is)

Before i go to sleep I always think about her and i find myself thinking more and more about her with other guys. By being with other guys I mean anything from flirting to sex.

We joke around some times about her being in charge(sexually) and I like it. I don't know why but I like being submissive (to a point, I have my limits)

Like I said it's the thought of it I find arousing. I know the reality would kill me which is why I keep to myself about it. But is something wrong with me? Do other guys feel this way? or do other women feel this way?

also if I were to tell her (we ask each other, well mostly she asks me, a lot of weird and uncomfortable questions to each other) how would I tell her? My guess is she would be shocked to hear me say that. Then again she was shocked once at something I once told her and then she was ok with it and likes it. Still I know this is way different.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntsounds normal to me... some folks do find this arousing. I am one of those folks... i often think of my man with the type of women he finds attractive...

if you want to talk to her about it, I would do it at a non-sexual time...some time at home, maybe eating ice cream in bed (oh wait that's when WE have our talks...sorry)

but basically not when there is pressure on her to be sexual with you... it may freak her out but if you tell her it's just a fantasy that gets you hot, it might go over well.

WORD of advice: KEEP IT as a fantasy.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntNo there is nothing wrong with you at all. It is just a fantasy in your head and it should stay there. There is no harm to what you are thinking at all, but don't tell your girlfriend about this, because she might take it the wrong way and think you don't care about her or who she gets with, so I think it is best you keep this one to yourself.

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