A
female
age
36-40,
*rou frou
writes:This is a really stupid problem, but my boyfriend is always dry humping me... When I'm cooking dinner, when we're in bed, etc. It is kind of annoying, but I worry that I am thwarting his masculine sexual urges or something by telling him to stop and that it will make him stop fancying me. Any advice from the guys?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 January 2014):
 Did you see my link? Is this the same boyfriend or a different one?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2014): I've read enough of these posts to know the final outcome.
He's being a pest. All you have to do is something annoying in return, and he'll get the point.
Six more months from now, you'll be wondering why he stopped. It's how new relationships usually start; until the sexual activity peaks, and then tapers off. Keep complaining.
Guys are damned if they do, and damned if they don't.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 January 2014):
"Babe, you are the sexiest most awesome wonderful man I have ever known. I love that you find me sexy too. The thing that is really bothering me is this humping thing you have going. I love it when you stroke my hair and woo me with --x y and z---. I have to say that I really don't feel sexy when you start humping me. If it was sort of part of the sexy stuff we do I wouldn't mind, but it's all the time.
"Maybe we need to come up with a code word or song?
"If you did the --x y and z-- along with doing the dishes?"
I'm sure his masculinity will survive the fact that humping isn't your biggest turn on.
I also really sincerely hope that this is not your boyfriend: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-been-extremely-annoying-with-his-continual-requests.html
I think you should be able to be clear about this. No one should have to tolerate a sex pest!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 January 2014):
 dry humping a woman is NOT showing sexual interest in HER... this is not about pleasing the OP but rather for a selfish man to get his rocks off by USING HER as a masturbatory device.
My husband has a much lower drive than I do... and I tried really hard to imagine how I would feel if he had a higher drive but used it to dry hump me.
Now if he's coming up to you and snuggling and humping in hopes of getting something started seriously.. then you have to tell him that his approach needs some work and let's try to come up with signals that both of us like.
say "honey if you are humping me to let me know you want sex, I think we need to find something that arouses me a bit more than your banging away at me since i don't find it a turn on". Then suggest things.. maybe kissing your neck while humping you from behind... so he gets his hump and you get your needs met too.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (13 January 2014):
 I agree with honeypie. You're not a damn leg. He humps you like a horny dog in heat while you're cooking dinner?? How odd!
I'm taking you literally by your word - as in he literally dry humps you. If you're referencing that he just gets really handsy and always wants sex, than correct me. But to be constantly humped? No thanks. That would piss me off.
You do need to sit down with him and communicate this. tell him that you love being physical and intimate with him, but this dry humping thing has to be toned down.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 January 2014):
 I agree with You Wish.
She is not a leg and he isn't a dog. (well he acts like one but that is a whole other matter).
You NEED to TALK TO him. TELL him that it's GREAT that he is so attracted to you, but that you feel like his behavior is that of a HORNY little chihuahua that needs to get neutered. You FEEL like a piece of meat that he treats like a chew toy. There is a TIME and a PLACE for that.
No I don't agree with the STOP complaining. She OBVIOUSLY doesn't like it and it IS disrespectful of her BF to keep doing it when she has TOLD him to stop. WHY should she just suck it up?
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female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86  +, writes (12 January 2014):
As someone whose last two boyfriends didn't show much interest in sex with me, you are VERY LUCKY. I agree with WiseOwlE.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (12 January 2014):
 OP, I don't think it's a stupid question and I think you have every right to complain. You're not a sex object to be pawed at every time your boyfriend feels horny. His behaviour is inappropriate.
I think you can, or should be able, to tell him how you feel without him going into a sulk. If he does sulk, he's immature and you're incompatible.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 January 2014):
 Dry humping all the time?? That isn't being loving and affectionate, so why exactly is she supposed to just "enjoy" it? There's touching, and then there's excessive groping. She's not a piece of meat to be used at his pleasure.
OP, you have to talk to him about this, and not just after he attempts it. Sit him down and tell him lovingly that when he dry humps you constantly, it makes you want to get away from him. Tell him exactly how it makes you feel, and that while you love him, excessive and constant dry humping is making you very uncomfortable.
If he doesn't listen to you and tone it down a little, then he doesn't respect you. However, when he backs off, show him appreciation and give him physical affection. Oftentimes we do things to our partners we want done to us. I'm not saying you should start dry humping him constantly, but don't forget be physically demonstrative in your own way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2014): If he's doing something to you that you don't like, tell him! If something so small makes him stop fancying you, then his feelings were never very strong to begin with and it was just a matter of time before it happened anyway. Plus, if he doesn't stop(and I have a funny feeling he won't), this is an easy way to find out he's a selfish jackass who doesn't respect your feelings. So, win-win.
And WiseOwlE, get that garbage off of here. Do you tell those women whose male partners show them no affection to stop complaining because we get hundreds of complaints from women whose male partners abuse them and those poor women would love to trade places with them? The idea that you can't complain about something if there's somebody who has it worse than you is an absolute joke.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (12 January 2014):
Those of you saying "stop complaining and enjoy it" have obviously never had to deal with a guy that does this ALL. THE. TIME. I have, so I understand what OP is going through, and no, it isn't ok, and I'm sure she has asked him to stop. Blech, if you aren't terribly attached to him I'd dump him personally. He probably won't outgrow this idiotic habit for years, and telling him to knock it off isn't going to help.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 January 2014):
 I agree with both posters but I would enjoy it while it lasts. He's not going to be that way years down the road. I know it can feel annoying at times but I guess my response to him would be "I am flattered by all this attention but sometimes I get the image of two dogs in heat, it feels kind of weird."
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 January 2014):
 You are allowed to tell him to stop touching you in an annoying way! Sometimes men (and women) have urges. That doesn't mean that urge has to be satisfied each and every time. Just ask him to stop the next time he does it. How long have you two been dating? It's not good to not feel comfortable communicating your wants and needs with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2014): We receive hundreds of complaints from women who's male partners turn to porn, stop showing them affection, and stop giving them intimacy altogether. You're annoyed.
One of these poor women would love to change places with you.
Stop complaining.
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