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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I find it hard to get the bigger picture when forming some kind of opinion about people. Like i notice an imperfection in someone that is hard to tolerate, for example -fat women. Similarly, people who don't use their own brain and instead use politics in dealing with a situation. It is frustrating for me to co-exist with these kind of people. Any thoughts? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (25 February 2007):
 It takes all kinds to make this world we all share but to judge people by their size, looks, education etc... really is hurtful how would you feel? We all judge at times but ask yourself this are we right? no, we are not, it takes time to really get to know someone and to listen and learn from people is a gift which once learnt is a great treasure. We are all born into differnt lives and are given different guide lines to follow from our parents it is up to us to continue the good guide lines which were placed for us to follow. We all make mistakes in life but we learn from them thats what makes us wiser as we grow older...Please try to understand people and find that gift within yourself you were not born like that you were once a trusting happy baby what happened.....I am not saying you will like everyone you meet but to understand we all have a heart is important otherwise your going to have to follow yellow brick road where once the tin man trod to get a heart....
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (25 February 2007):
 To judge a person by their physical appearance just shows that you are insecure with your own appearance and lash out on to others. You know as well as everyone else judging people will not change what they look like or what you look like. The only thing accomplished in judging someone's physical appearance is to try to make yourself look better then them. If someone hears you it has the opposite effect.
To judge a person's actions shows some learned biases in your life. Like a trained dog we all have set rules we live our lives by, that have been taught to us by our families, and society. When someone steps out of what we've learned as acceptable it rubs us the wrong way. This kind of judging can hurt us in the business place, in love, and with friends.
To come to terms that everyone was taught a different set of rules, albeit just slightly different from your own or extrememly different, is hard. When you can let it all go and stop the judging, your relationships will blossom, you will be trusted, love partners will feel safe with you, and your life will seem to be less stressed.
One of the best ways to stop judging is everytime you judge someone is to make yourself get to know that person. Ask them to lunch and find out everything about them until you find something you Truly Like about them. This will curb your desire to judge, just by the sheer thought of spending money for a lunch on this person, and by learning to like someone it's harder to judge them.
Good Luck, this is one of the noblest things you can do to make your life easier and to live with others different then you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2007): Well, you are entitled to your opinions about people. It is often difficult to co-exist with others because people are people and they are often difficult to deal with.
As far as feeling a fat person is unacceptable, that is really not for you to decide is it? Yes, it is a shame that some people are fat, most times it is their own doing, other times it is really a bad luck of poor genetics and they can't do a whole lot about it or have developed other health problems that make it difficult to lose the weight.
Try a little tolerance and try not showing how superior and smart you are to those who are less so, just try dealing with them on their own level and see how it goes.
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