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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the good advice I appreciate it. I will just try harder and work on our marriage.
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female
reader, Scared...  +, writes (19 December 2008):
Sounds like your husband is seeking attention. His co-worker probably makes him feel like a man again. Could be harmless. But if these little talks continue I'm afraid your marriage could very well be in trouble. I would start telling him how much you love and respect him for all that he does. Sex is not the answer..People don't have affairs for the sex it's the attention and the need to feel desired again.
Hope this helps..
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): Great Answer PvtGuy!
Now I am waiting to hear from the poster.
If she lets us know what is missing in her marriage we can all help her out.
Maybe she is doing her level best?
I will wait on this till I hear from the poster.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I am really sorry but my internet connection is horrible.I couldn't type the entire answer and I hit the reply button by mistake while trying to refresh the connection
Dear Poster,
I am still with my husband.I am not saying my advice is right.I am here to offer an opinion like anyone else.Honestly my husband doesn't even look at any other girl.I try to be happy all the time.I dress up well.Where ever we go guys hit on me.
I have noticed there's nothing that perks up a guy more than another guy hitting on his girl.My husband doesn't get angry.He just smiles.
I have been married only for 5 years.So I may be wrong.My relationship is working great!I just wanted to help you out.
Merry Christmas!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I am still with my husband.
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female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (19 December 2008):
 I cannot give marriage advice but I do not agree with bugs. I tried crap like that with my ex (long term relationship) because he was starting to give me attitude and telling me to try harder. I went bough an expensive outfit he picked out to please him, I dressed up more for him. No matter how many men stared at me he still gave me attitude. Eventually, he did what you were talking about and when i mentioned it he said I was jealous.
You can only do so much to change this hurtful behavior but save yourself from the REAL humiliation of compromising yourself for some selfish fool like your husband. I think its time for a real nice honest talk. I don't know what your relationship is like so this could be difficult either because he'll give you the cold hard truth or he'll avoid it like the plague. But what did save my relationship halfway through it was dead no holds bar honesty.
"I realize that after ___ years of marriage its only natural for us to be curious with other people. I do feel very much loved by you but I have to admit I felt ______ when _____ had most of your attention on my birthday."
From that point on just try and keep it from getting TOO emotional. That is your best bet on finding a solution.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I am a wife myself.I understand how you feel.It hurts a lot doesn't it?
Irrespective of the cultural differences men and women all over the world think alike.
Believe it or not even when he is talking with the other woman,he would have had an eye out on what you are doing.
Its something to do with their caveman instincts.They mark their territory.
As Liewe rightly said it would do you no good to confront him in a manner that is bound to inflame him more.
Start working on your looks.Make sure every man at the party drools over you.There is nothing wrong in making your husband jealous.You don't have to flirt with a man to make him jealous.I have a lovely knee length red evening gown that does the trick.
A bit of jealousy would do him good.How long can he concentrate on another woman when he notices other men are queuing up near you to talk with you.
Be a tigress in bed.Make his favorite food in kitchen.
After trying your level best if it still doesn't work,its time to give the ultimatum in a cool and level voice with out any emotions or drama.
Do not let her win.All it takes is a little love and attention from the wife to bring back a man on track.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): Ouch, that hurts. I can understand that you feel hurt and humiliated. Red lights flashing? Surely! I think you should have a very calm and loving talk to him. Don't accuse him of ingnoring you or anything like that. Instead talk to him telling him that you feel hurt and neglected. You don't want him to turn this against you saying you are being jealous, overreact and are insecure. No, be very diplomatic. Spice up the fireworks in the bedroom.Keep an eye open with regards to the other lady from his work. How often does he talk about her or make mention of her name or is he in contact with her after hours by phone etc. Don't let him think you are jealous or suspicious. Just keep an eye open.
Try not to concentrate on your hurt to much and focus on saving your marriage.
Good luck!
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