A
female
age
26-29,
*eyitsjustme
writes:Hey,I met this guy at a 3 week group thing and there was over 50 teens there and there was this one guy there I really fell in love with my friends introduced me to him first and he was flirty and stuff, at the night time we had a dancing sechions and he alsways asked me :) but one night I asked my friend to ask if he was interested in me but he said he had a girlfriend... and the worst thing was he lived in wicklow and I lived in galway so when the 3 weeks were over I was so upset that I would never see him again but I thought he was the 1 and I havent got over him since I keep dreaming about him and I wake up crying because I wont see him again and I havent slept probably in 2 weeks :( please help!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (9 August 2014):
 You are still so young & you will move on with your life in due time, believe me!
I know exactly how you feel, because i have been through this time & time again myself.
It is NEVER easy to get over somebody we love or somebody we have strong feelings for, i know, however, look @ it this way.
He has admitted to your friend, that he already has a gf.
If you pursue, how would that make you look in his eyes??
Desperate right & you know, men do not chase after desperate women, period!
As he already has somebody else, why on earth would you still want him, or yearn for him?
Please think about that for a moment.
The facts are that he is not in love with you, however painful or hard it may be for you to hear me say this.
You have so much time ahead of you & when the truest love of your life does present himself, believe me, YOU WILL KNOW!! & even better yet, you will not have to do any chasing, crying, or reaching out to grab his attention.
He will notice you & things will simply blossom.
With maturity, you will learn so, so much more. I certainly have & you will become much stronger, become more self-assured & you'll become more confident within yourself. But only time will teach you this.
What you are feeling & experiencing right now, is very normal & common, for someone of your age & as i said before, in due time, you will look back @ this story fondly & maybe even have a few laughs, in fact i am sure you will!
Please do this for your own sake now.
Release him, wish him well & get on with your life.
Look back with a smile on your face & not with pain.
Go & look @ yourself in the mirror right now, have a good look @ your face & tell yourself,
"I am so very beautiful, attractive, smart, savvy, sassy, sexy, etc; etc; & tell yourself that you are a total catch & you can take on the world & that you are strong & self assured, with or without a man in your life right now.
Release & find your own closure, so very important.
Focus on what you did before you guys met.
Connect with yr gfs, get out & start meeting new & interesting people & don't even seek men, if a man is keen on you, he will surely approach you.
Just take a deep breath & relax. :-)
Focus on pampering yourself, take time out for you & only you.
Go to your local shopping mall for a stroll & buy yourself the smallest gift. Spoil yourself first & foremost.
Also, i would strongly advise you to continue with your work, studies, whatever is important to you in your life & for your future.
A false flame, will only hold you back.
If you are finding it so very difficult to get over this guy, please seek some professional help, perhaps visit your local GP & have a wee chat with he or she.
This is always a great starting point.
As far as the distance between you both goes, well truly, that doesn't really matter, because if the two of you were MEANT TO BE, you would both walk across the earth to be together ok & nothing would hold either of you back.
I love the saying, "Where there is a will, there is a way."
Anyway, please be strong & move on, if you don't, you will be the only one who is miserable, because remember, he already has somebody & you would not wish to be sharing him with his current partner would you??
Even if he did break up with his gf to be with you, he would only be doing it on the rebounds & this is NEVER a healthy start to any relationship.
You are much more worthy that that & you know it.
Don't ever lower yourself or your standards for any man.
Good luck & let me know how you get on. :-)
A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (9 August 2014):
You are still so young & you will move on with your life in due time, believe me!
I know exactly how you feel, because i have been through this time & time again myself.
It is NEVER easy to get over somebody we love or somebody we have strong feelings for, i know, however, look @ it this way.
He has admitted to your friend, that he already has a gf.
If you pursue, how would that make you look in his eyes??
Desperate right & you know, men do not chase after desperate women, period!
As he already has somebody else, why on earth would you still want him, or yearn for him?
Please think about that for a moment.
The facts are that he is not in love with you, however painful or hard it may be for you to hear me say this.
You have so much time ahead of you & when the truest love of your life does present himself, believe me, YOU WILL KNOW!! & even better yet, you will not have to do any chasing, crying, or reaching out to grab his attention.
He will notice you & things will simply blossom.
With maturity, you will learn so, so much more. I certainly have & you will become much stronger, become more self-assured & you'll become more confident within yourself. But only time will teach you this.
What you are feeling & experiencing right now, is very normal & common, for someone of your age & as i said before, in due time, you will look back @ this story fondly & maybe even have a few laughs, in fact i am sure you will!
Please do this for your own sake now.
Release him, wish him well & get on with your life.
Look back with a smile on your face & not with pain.
Go & look @ yourself in the mirror right now, have a good look @ your face & tell yourself,
"I am so very beautiful, attractive, smart, savvy, sassy, sexy, etc; etc; & tell yourself that you are a total catch & you can take on the world & that you are strong & self assured, with or without a man in your life right now.
Release & find your own closure, so very important.
Focus on what you did before you guys met.
Connect with yr gfs, get out & start meeting new & interesting people & don't even seek men, if a man is keen on you, he will surely approach you.
Just take a deep breath & relax. :-)
Focus on pampering yourself, take time out for you & only you.
Go to your local shopping mall for a stroll & buy yourself the smallest gift. Spoil yourself first & foremost.
Also, i would strongly advise you to continue with your work, studies, whatever is important to you in your life & for your future.
A false flame, will only hold you back.
If you are finding it so very difficult to get over this guy, please seek some professional help, perhaps visit your local GP & have a wee chat with he or she.
This is always a great starting point.
As far as the distance between you both goes, well truly, that doesn't really matter, because if the two of you were MEANT TO BE, you would both walk across the earth to be together ok & nothing would hold either of you back.
I love the saying, "Where there is a will, there is a way."
Anyway, please be strong & move on, if you don't, you will be the only one who is miserable, because remember, he already has somebody & you would not wish to be sharing him with his current partner would you??
Even if he did break up with his gf to be with you, he would only be doing it on the rebounds & this is NEVER a healthy start to any relationship.
You are much more worthy that that & you know it.
Don't ever lower yourself or your standards for any man.
Good luck & let me know how you get on. :-)
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