A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When I meet up with my lover we always end up having sex, and don't get me wrong, I do enjoy it but I feel a bit used.When I book a hotel room for the night I always end up paying for it...not that I'm tight but I wish he would pay sometimes.When he wants to meet up he says we can go for a walk, because then he can get his end way. He doesn't say I will treat you to lunch or a drink....When I graduated this year he sent me a few flowers not a big bunch but something you would of got at the petrol station....am I being unreasonable?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2015): he says he can't pay for a room because he doesn't have a separate bank card...although he has offered to pay he knows I say don't worry it's my treat.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2015): i have been with him 9 years and he is married, he can't leave his wife until his children are older and less dependant on him, he doesn't love his wife but finds her a pain in the ass, she stopped sex a good few years ago due to lack of interest.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 August 2015):
 for the room and always give in to sex? Yes, I do think that sounds like he is taking full advantage of your inability to tell him, your turn to pay.
Is he married by chance? If so... I can see why he would avoid spending money on you, one less chance of getting caught.
As for the flowers... well, you got some.. he could have done nothing.
Other then that, he doesn't really sound like he wants anything with you besides dipping his wick (and getting you to pay).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2015): Your new lover sounds like a user. Maybe a little younger than you? Are your financially comfortable and he knows it?
Are you sure he's your lover and not a gigolo preying on women of means?
If you want him spring for it, just say "it's your turn to spring for the date." If he always has an excuse to avoid paying, you're being used. If he's too broke or cheap to pay or motels or cover the cost of a date; he shouldn't be dating.
You should be more aware of the character of the company you keep. You can't be that naive!
Some guys only play for pay! You're mature and wise enough to know the difference.
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