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I feel the distance is getting worse between us.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Gay relationships, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 November 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *torm08 writes:

Hi, All this has happened since I started seeing my girlfriend, and have been seeing her for 10 months now. Basically suspicion started when she'd text her ex girlfriend say kath about kath's son whom she calls her own as well. At first i could cope because i understood the pain of her losing a son like figure and pursuaded her to see him on a regular basis. Even though none of the texts are about them only about her son and the odd joke, I still think she is sending texts to kath but deleting them. Her phone bill came one month and stated 25 texts had been sent to her ex, kath's number only when I went through her phone she'd only sent 17. It sounds crazy but since she had the phone she kept all her messages to see how many she could store on the phone. Also she talks about her ex quite a lot.. it's more we had this.. or we did that. I know I'm wrong for going through her phone, but I cant help it as some of the things she said to me in the past suggests to me, she wants her ex back!!

I found her on a website the other day and she has been talking to other women... nothing serious... the thing is I do to, but I hate the fact she does. I don't say anything because I have no right to do so, as I'm doing the same.

The past few months we have barely slept with one another and I'm scared she has gone off me.. honestly we sit on opposite sofa's and barely talk all day. I've tried being seductive, I've tried romantic, I've tried everything but all I get is "I aint in the mood." I have a low self esteem and lack so much confidence, so every time she says no, all that runs through my head is why don't she want to sleep with me. Because it has happened so often I make it into an arguement, I ask her if there is anything bothering her and she says no, and I ask her why, her answer is always the same, which is "I dont know" so I bite back and say you must know. But she still doesn't answer my question, so I'm left wondering all night.

I hate myself, I feel like a cow, everyone I have spoken to suggests talking, believe me I have tried thousands of times and get nowhere with it. There is no way she will talk to me about anything she don't want to, she more or less just shrugs and carry's on what she was doing.

I feel so messed up... am I the one who should leave her alone and carry on being miserable. What should I do? I have thought of leaving her, but I know I love her and that's the last thing I want to do.

Please help I'm losing my mind.

thank you x

View related questions: confidence, ex girlfriend, her ex, in the mood, self esteem, text

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2008):

Well you can't wave a wand and make things better. I really don't think her heart is in this relationship any more and although I know you love her, you may have to accept that this won;t last for ever.

At some point you are going to get sick of being treated like this and you will leave.

Either that or she will finally give up and leave you.

Good Luck!! xx

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