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I feel that I can never have a good relationship because of my poor body image! Any advice for me?

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Question - (13 January 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2007)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Well, I suffer huge self confidence issues. I hate my body which I feel is not as slim as I would like it to be and what’s more is also scarred with hideous stretch marks after a fairly chubby me had lost weight when I entered high school and developed a new found interest in sports. I am 17 and have never had a bf or been kissed and I think that makes me doubt my appearance more, I feel as if I could never have a r/ship with someone as they’d be repulsed by the sight of my body and its scars… when people stare at me in public I feel like they are looking at me and judging my appearance or on days I feel confident about my appearance (which is becoming more and more rare) I believe if someone who ever found me attractive were to see me close up they would see all the imperfections of my body and no longer find me attractive. Please help me, I don't like doubting myself this way.

View related questions: confidence, stretch marks

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntI read this as if I wrote it myself. Trust me, as soon as your self confidence starts to go you're on a sliding slope. You absolutely have to try and claw some of it back. Try to write down three things you like about yourself every day. Some days these will be the same things but even if it's something small like "my eye make up looks perfect today" it's something. As for the guy thing it'll happen in time. You need to love yourself before someone else can love you after all. Loving yourself is something that might take some time so be patient as far as the guy thing goes. It will happen for you I promise!!

CD

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A female reader, heartxbrokenxgurl United States +, writes (13 January 2007):

heartxbrokenxgurl agony aunthun never say never someday u will find ur prince that likes u for who u r not how u look im rele skinnin n some ppl think im anorexic but i kno im not n ive had alot of b.fs who didnt care if i was or not they liked me cuz i was pretty on the inside n i was hott on the outside but they didnt care bout that they dated me for bein myself n some man will feel the same way bout u dont wrry n dont blam urself for how u look its mother nature u r for who u r not how u look so dont wrry ok take care

?jenna date master /heartxbrokenxgurl

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A female reader, Reebe United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2007):

Reebe agony auntHun, i know how you feel i think most people have experienced something like this. I am sure you are beautiful and have you ever thought that people look at you because of this?!

You say you've never had a bf or been kissed I think that it's probably pushing them away, mentally, before they can even think of getting close to you. As to your stretch marks alot of women have them whether it's due to putting on or losing weight or pregnancy, i have them on my hips and and i;m not talking little one and to be honest no man i have ever been with has said a word and to be honest i don't think they've even noticed! Men have stretch marks too you know!

No body is perfect everyone has something or things they don't like or would change about their body, stay with your love of sports, and keep busy someone will come along when they need to and remember that your body to them will be amazing just because it's yours, just keep yourself for someone who deserves you!

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A female reader, Reebe United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2007):

Reebe agony auntHun, i know how you feel i think most people have experienced something like this. I am sure you are beautiful and have you ever thought that people look at you because of this?!

You say you've never had a bf or been kissed I think that it's probably pushing them away, mentally, before they can even think of getting close to you. As to your stretch marks alot of women have them whether it's due to putting on or losing weight or pregnancy, i have them on my hips and and i;m not talking little one and to be honest no man i have ever been with has said a word and to be honest i don't think they've even noticed! Men have stretch marks too you know!

No body is perfect everyone has something or things they don't like or would change about their body, stay with your love of sports, and keep busy someone will come along when they need to and remember that your body to them will be amazing just because it's yours, just keep yourself for someone who deserves you!

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A male reader, Big boy +, writes (13 January 2007):

Big boy agony auntTry and be comfortable in your own skin, never judge a book by its cover, your young the older you become the prettier you get; you have nothing to worry about. At least you know you don’t want to put on more weight, let your personality speak for you, you don’t need people to be attracted to you just for looks. There are creams that would help your get rid of stretch marks after a period. Every one went through a stage of feeling down about there body, but hey, don’t be depressed about it. Be comfortable in your own skin, your body is your temple. Stop thinking of what other people think and concentrate on what you want. You will grow up to be pretty.

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