A
female
age
18-21,
cHuCkLeS
writes:ive liked one of the guys from my part time job for a couple of months now and hes known about it for a bit and has been really flirty with me (im 20, hes 21). like whenever we go out and end up watching films round someones house, he always cuddles me, and we always end up alone just cuddling and flirting. last weekend we were having a drink after work and he said he had some new cigerettes at home and i joked and asked him why he wasnt sharing them and he said "u can come back to mine for a smoke if u want?". so anyway we went back to his, smoked, and watched a dvd. he put his arm around me and cuddled me. and then as we were laying there he started stroking my cheek and neck. so we ended up kissing and had a "fumble" but we didnt have sex. the next morning he acted like nothing had happened and wasnt very talkative and he hasnt mentioned it since and hasnt been his usual self with me, hes barely spoken to me at work. so now ive come to the conclusion it was either just a spur of the moment kiss, he used me because he knew i liked him, or he did it and realised he didnt like me. what do u think?being knocked back like that really upset me, and i was feeling really really down all week so i ended up doing something stupid last night and getting extremely drunk with a mutual friend from work (who im really close with) and we ended up having sex but i stopped it because i felt too guilty because he is seeing another mutual friend of ours. i feel so cheap and easy and ashamed of myself. what should i do?
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at work, cheap, drunk, flirt, kissing Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, citris  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 If you are going to text him because that's the only way to reach him I would casually ask him if the cats got his tongue...lol Honestly though I doubt that texting is the best course of action, if you must though, then go for it. If asking him that is too off the cuff or to general or you think he may not respond well to it, think of something you think he WILL respond to and see if he does. go from there.
Let me know how it goes!
citris
A
female
reader, cHuCkLeS +, writes (3 December 2007):
cHuCkLeS is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks citris, that really helped, especially the last bit about why he may be acting off with me in work. im going to text him because the only way i'll get to talk to him but im not sure what to write? i dont want to sound too heavy or stupid. can u give me any suggestions? thanks again xxx
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A
female
reader, citris +, writes (3 December 2007):
Firstly, I would suggest that you slow down your drinking, and not drown your sorrows that way. It seems that you are more susceptible to fooling around with someone when you've been drinking(not surprising it's pretty much common across the board, anyone who's had a few drinks might regret who they kissed or slept with the day after).
Secondly, screw up some courage, look at yourself in the mirror and know that you don't deserve to be treated like 2nd day trash. Take a deep breath, get a little bitch going on in you(not too much mind you, don't want to come off totally bitchy and mad!) and just talk to this guy from work that is now ignoring you. Let him know that while yes you are/were attracted to him, if he can't handle some innocent fun without it affecting your work relations and how the two of you communicate, he's obviously not mature enough to handle fooling around with you. Therefore, it's not to happen again if that is what will make him feel more comfortable.
Maybe he thinks you will want to start dating now, taking it to a level he's not ready for. Maybe he's worried that your other co-workers will talk and he doesn't want anyone to know quite yet. Maybe he's unsure of his feelings for you. Whatever it is, he is being a jerk by treating you this way and you don't deserve it. Let him know and don't be too mean, or too polite for that matter. Try your best to be calm and matter of fact. Guys seem to respond to that because they see it as a lack of emotional involvment, which as we all know with most guys anything to do with heavy emotional involvment can freak them out if they're not prepared for it.
Best of luck and I hope that your work environment continues to be enjoyable for you!
Citris
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