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I feel my husband and his friends are exploiting me

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2019) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2019)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello and thank you

My husband is black and I’m white. He says somethings that bother me sometimes. His dream is to be very weathly. Nothing wrong with that. He lives large likes the finer things however those things come at my cost. He likes the newest cells the fancy chains. I have bought it for him. He is a student at the moment and says when he is finished he will ensure I’m taken care of. Also he makes remarks that leave me uneasy sometimes. He says I’m too smart to be white. To me it’s kind of an insult. Maybe he believes it’s a compliment. In his down time he brings friends over and they smoke weed at my cost. They take my cigarettes without asking as well. I told his friends to please get some manners and ask before you take. It’s not a free for all.

How can I handle this ?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (25 April 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSweetheart, people only treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us. If we lie on the floor with "WELCOME" written all over us, people will wipe their feet on us. Do you understand what I am saying?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2019):

He is still a student and he is already married. That is unusual. Do you have any children between? If not,then just kick him out and get divorce. No offence but in most black cultures women are looked down upon. Do you want to be looked down upon for the rest of your life?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2019):

He is completely taking advantage of you. This needs to change, I think you need to talk to him about it and tell him that he needs to start providing for himself. This is your money and it's getting totally wasted on funding his luxurious lifestyle, he should be ashamed! Please stop funding his lifestyle, if necessary but your money into your own individual account or as a previous aunt suggested, ask a family member to help secure your finances. It's one think to buy the food but he's being treat like a housewife with a rich husband!! Also he sounds very ignorant.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (23 April 2019):

BrownWolf agony auntHi OP,

I am milk chocolate...father side is white, mom side is black. My grandmother raised me. Guess she was all old school. Growing up on a small island in the Caribbean, I never heard of a woman providing for her man. Even if the woman had money, the man still had to do his part to be a provider.

It would be an embarrassment to me, acting like a player and high roller off my wife's income. Sorry to say...You do not have a husband. You have an over grown child. Only children use their parents money without any regard. Your husband is a dreamer, and you are paying for the comfy bed for him to dream in.

As for being too smart to be white....I say you use that smart and money to get out of this. Because allowing this to continue is not very smart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2019):

Stop supplying him money and resources . If necessary get a trusted family member to help you secure your finances where he can’t access them . Why are you buying him things like new cells and cigarettes

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