A
male
age
26-29,
*ntouchable
writes:Hi, i don't know if i have a problem or if it's just me, it's that i have been married to my wife now for 27 months and although i love her with all my heart, and i know she loves me, i feel like our sex life is already drying up. Before we had our baby our sex life was great and even during the pregnancy i had no complaints, but since our son was born, it's got to the point where I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. I'm not asking for much, maybe once a week, but it's like she doesn't ever want to do it anymore, and when we finally do do it, i feel like i pretty much have to beg her for it. I don't know if she even likes it anymore and there's never any excitement anymore, each time feels exactly the same. I have brought it up with her before, but it hasn't made much of a difference. it's not like we're even past our prime, we're both in a 20s. I thought it was because the baby kept getting up at night, but that hasn't been the case for 4 months now. Is there any advice you could give?
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male
reader, untouchable +, writes (31 July 2009):
untouchable is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you timbo, makes me feel a bit better that this is not uncommon. i thought it was something wrong with me or something i was doing wrong
A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 you should probably ignore the misogynist. it's very common. practically expected. its a good idea to let her make the first move. just remember that intimacy comes in different forms. don't forget to hug and kiss her and let her know that you don't expect anything because of that. you seem very caring and with a bit of patience things will work out. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): Typical female response, marieclaire - all for the woman, no sympathy for the man.
Questioner, like so many on here with similar problems, I suggest it's because she's had what she wants out of you - the child - and now simply wants you to finance her and it.
Sorry to be so blunt, but it's tough titty on you; we've all been there!
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A
male
reader, untouchable +, writes (31 July 2009):
untouchable is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell that's what i thought. I just figured I'll keep quiet and let her make the move when she's ready. so it's pretty commo for women to go through this then?
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A
female
reader, marieclaire +, writes (31 July 2009):
looking after a baby is exhausting whether it sleeps at night or not. you have to give her more time. if you pressure her it will feel like a chore. many women lose their sex drive for a while when they had a small baby. it just takes time to get it back
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A
male
reader, timbo +, writes (31 July 2009):
You need to make her understand that sex and intimacy in your relationship is important to you and it should therefore be important to her. Its important in every relationship. Women go through hormonal changes after childbirth which could be the culprit. Having a child changes everything also, once just 2, now 3. Try to talk about it differently than you have thusfar. Every couple goes through these changes after a baby comes, you are far from alone. Theres books, the internet, couple and sex therapists. Good luck
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