A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a situation where I don't know where to begin and it's hard to explain, I'll try to make as much sense as I can with it so bare with me. I like this female at work, she likes me and we seem to get on well, she's a temporary worker and want ive heard from colleagues she might get the job on a permanent basis. Which Is awesome and I'm happy about that for her.Now this is where the problem starts and that I'm confused by. We used to talk to each other three times a week and now it's hardly ever or once a week if I'm lucky. I don't romantically feel anything for her but I do have a little soft spot for her. I've tried very hard to not come across as needy or to hassle her in person or on social media which she's friends with me on.When ive messaged her on social media, I haven't bombarded her with messages, I've spread them out on certain days so that it's not obvious. I've not asked if she has a boyfriend, but I asked if she'd like to meet up for a coffee as friends and said to her that there was no pressure on this and to think about it.I have dreams about her, talking to me, hugging me, and asking questions and I'm confused by what this means. I know dreams aren't real but this felt it was.I feel as though ive lost her as a friend and when she doesn't talk to me, it makes me feel sad, and in the film secret of my success where michael j fox plays a character and he drinks the water from a sink and looks at the girl he likes and she vanishes into thin air, I feel as though it's a bit like that.Is there something wrong with me? I'm crying as I write this, I'm normally not an emotional person, advice appreciated on this.
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at work, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2016): I appreciate the advice and thank you for your help with regards to this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2016): Do you mean I should play it cool with her?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (28 May 2016):
 She thinks you want more than friendship and friendship is ALL she wants from you.
You are into her, but she is NOT into you. Sorry.
So if you can BE a friend (only) just keep being polite and friendly.
If you can't, back away.
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A
female
reader, ArtisticBiscuit  +, writes (28 May 2016):
 You are not wrong for feeling this way. You've put time into this friendship and now it's not as active as it once was. Very understandable to be upset by this.Of course talking to someone so often you will get attached.You're dream to me symbolises you miss her. As the contact from her is less. Try and talk to her at work. Even small talk. Anything to keep you both in touch and to lessen the burden of you missing her.I think you're doing the right thing of messaging her without putting pressure on her.It's also ok to own up that you miss her. Understand the fact she is busier with job. But, surely you could own up to missing her company (as friends).Maybe you could schedule a work outing and invite her.., drinks, meal out etc... that way she won't feel awkward for any reason being alone with you. Hope this helps -ArtisticBiscuit
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2016): We had a laugh via social media about my boss who isn't good at making cups of tea and I said she made the best. And that's true as she does. When I asked if she wanted to meet up she didn't reply back to me, but however she did speak to me this week, but it seemed awkward and it seemed she wanted to get far away from me as possible. I don't know if my timing was wrong in asking her but in my heart I felt I did the right thing. And I don't know if I should have mentioned anything about it, but I don't want to lose her as a friend, as she's my best friend, she hasn't blocked me on social media or cancelled her friend request with regards to myself.
I find it confusing and I'm worried she will never talk to me again on that or in person.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 May 2016):
 No Sweetie there is nothing wrong with you at all, it sounds like this girl might think that you have romantic feelings for her and she does not feel the same therefore she has backed off so that she does not give you the wrong impression. You didn't mention what her answers are when you write to her? When you asked her out what did she say?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2016): This beautiful girl is draining your self confidence and offering you nothing in return so you should drop the thought of her and stolp contacting her so that you regain your own power.
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