A
male
age
18-21,
*uckynmbr7s
writes:I've had terrible luck with relationships, I always feel like im giving 100% and always getting back 50%. All the girls I date always are "too busy" to have a boyfriend or just dont think im "ready" to have a girlfriend. In relationships I always feel like I try to go an extra mile to please the other person and never get back any love in return. for example I dated this girl for 5 months her grandmother passed away i was there for, she'd call me everyday for emotional support and I was there. Then valentines day comes along, I buy her flowers and plan out a date for her, and she says she wants to go out with me. So I sit at home all day calling her and she never returns my phone calls till about 11:00 at night, saying she's going to stop by. She comes by and comes in gets her flowers then says she has to run because she promised her cousin that she would be his valentine she takes the flowers and leaves. I get mad about that, but since she's not answering the phone for a week I text her about it, then she says well talk about it later and never calls. I give her two weeks then she calls me back and acts as if nothing has ever happened. So eventually i get tired of arguing with her about it, I can see she's no longer interested in a relationship so I try to be her friend and she still treats me bad, not returning phone calls, not texting back, the only time she calls me is if I text her 1st. I'm tired of having my heart broken. I'm tired of giving 100% and getting back 10%. This is not the only thing that has happened there were others. This is how all my relationships have gone my whole life and I just dont know what to do anymore I'm sick of this. I started to think that It was just the girl but when it happens to you every time it must be me!!! What am I doing wrong? please help!!!!
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cousin, flowers, grandmother, text Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): U know what don't call her wait till she calls you. She will miss you. Coz if you keep calling her like that she's gonna keep treating you bad. Life is short and you need to enjoy and think about ur happiness not be miserable. I know you love this girl but sometimes you need to stand up for urself. Trust me if you don't call her she will wonder she will miss ur phone calls etc. So just don't be worried it's not you. Nothing is wrong with you. It's her because you love her and you want to be with her. And she ignores you. So you should try and control yourself. Don't call her if she calls you don't argue with her. Just be normal act like you don't care. Which means one day she will realize how important you are. It's not about friends or going out more. It's about love but she isn't showing you any effort. So it's up to u to decide and she will come back. Pray for both of you to be together. Ask her where she wants to go then Take her for a date. But as for now don't call wait till she calls you. And don't fight. God is with u.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): You need to make a lot more friends and not just depend on talking to one person. I agree with the last writer, get hobbies, and enjoy life. Try to make a best friend bc there always going to be calling you or the other way around. And you can leave a quick message to a friend saying do you want to go out for coffee later just to hang out and talk, then allow them to call in there own time. I have quite friends that like to listion and talkative friends too. Dont be clingy to people bc it gets annoying to have five or more messages from the same person in a week. A great message to leave would be to call some one and say hay I'm going to be in that area later can I stop by your house to talk around... and call me back when you get this message. See what there schedule is before you try and call them so if there bussy then you can call another time or say call me at this time if you get the chance. I think it has to do with overly calling people, thats part of the reasion everyone didn't want to be with you. If someone constantly called you over and over again it would be a head-acke, ask one of your friends to call you as much, as you called your gf's, then you'll see why they broke up with you. And yelling at them really didn't help the whole thing either.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Ok, take a breather, sit down, relax... then go out and get a life, have some fun with friends, hobbies, whatever makes you happy!
If you care about people, be there for them and expect nothing in return... BUT being there for someone means being a good listener when they need you, making time for them when they need and IF you can.
When arranging a date, phone the girl once and discuss what you're going to do. If she's not answering the phone, leave a message and let her call back in her own time.
But whatever you do, do not wait by the phone, do not phone her more than twice in a week and make sure she has your mobile number to call you on, so you can go out and have some fun while you wait for her to call.
The secret to finding love is to learn to love yourself, be confident and relax!
Good luck :-)
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