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I feel like I may not reach being 18

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Question - (22 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *eraphim writes:

well i have been feeling very depressed for a good 8 months now.

my hair started falling out,i would get terrible migraines an throw up, wouldnt enjoy things that i once used to enjoy everything was like a task, i would cry every single night, couldnt sleep or i would oversleep and hardly attended college (because fine art was no longer part of the corse and i will have to do a foundation corse before going to uni.

things were getting really hard that i started to self harm.

i had been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and it was our aniversary. so i wanted to draw a picture of him as a suprise. he had left me on his laptop, so i started looking for a photo of him. i couldnt find any but a list of his conversation came up. and in those conversations he was talking to different girls saying things that really hurt my feelings. i could not believe sum one i trustd could do such a thing to me. these conversations were old, so i tried to forget about it but i just did not need that at a time like this. we sorted it out and we are fine, but it has made me very insecure and my confidence has gone down.

i have tried to get all the help i could possibly get. i have gone to my doctor to let them know how i feel. it took 2 months before i could see a councelor and the sesion did help...well for that day.

as time went on things only got worse for me, i felt more and more down,more useless and life was becoming a joke.

2weeks ago i had to go to a and e to prevent myself from self harming or from doing any thing more serious.the following day i was reffered to a councelling session that lasted 2 hours. on monday i will be put on some anti depressants.

i just dont know if going on them is a good idea, but im so sick of this, i can not take it anymore! i want to be a tattoo artist and when i turn 18 i want to be mentally and physicaly ready for it because it is not easy. but at this rate i just feel like i may not reach 18. can someone please help me?

thank you

View related questions: confidence, depressed, insecure, tattoo

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A female reader, straight to the truth United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2010):

unfortnately i had to watch my mum go through this same torment and she ended up in a mental hospital because originally she wouldn't go on anti depressants.

Thankfully after she went into the hospital they got her on the right medication ad she now leads a normal happy life, she still has the occassional bad day but the point is without this medication she couldn't function.

eventually they will gradually reduce the medication until her mind can cope without it all.

From everything you have said I would sggest you take the medication and please make sure you take it as prescribed, this is very serious but if you take it properly you will notice a change in yourself and the way you think and you will actually find things more clear.

it can take a while to get the balance right but when it is you will be able to do all the things you wanted to do.

Although you may feel like you are trapped in this big hole each day you wake up you will soon find it feeling a little shallower each day.

I wish you all the best a I wish you a happy life.

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntThe fact that you have a dream that you still want to pursue is a good start to recovery! It means you still have something to live for. Good luck =]

Secondly, the anti-depressants ARE a good idea. I have a mate who had a lot of counselling and was feeling very down, and since he has been on anti-depressants he's been much better.

It's difficult to comment on what happened with your boyfriend as I don't know what was said.

The hair loss and migraines sound like they are caused by stress, and it's a vicious cycle because the more migraines and hairloss you get, the more stressed you become! Some relaxation and down time would do you some good. Is there anything in life that makes you particularly stressed or depressed? As these issues need to be dealt with to make you feel better.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (22 July 2010):

dirtball agony auntYour best bet is to do both counceling and the medication. Alone, neither are terribly effective, only about 30% in most people. When treated with both, people with depression often report success around 85% of the time.

As I see it, you have a goal, and a clear one at that. That is a huge factor in progressing through these dark times. People with "nothing to live for" often spend their days sulking about it. You want to be a tattoo artist. That's awesome! I'm sure there are certifications that you'll need to get. Have you looked into those? Have you worked on a portfolio?

My advice, aside from continued medication and therapy, is to focus on your goals. Do your best to stay positive and take steps to make them happen. When you are doing something that makes you happy, the rest will help.

My father suffers from clinical depression. It went undiagnosed for 40+ years. Since he went to counceling and has gotten medication, I've gotten to know him better in the last few years. He actually seems very happy, which is a drastic change from where he was before he received help. I know you can make it too!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (22 July 2010):

chigirl agony auntYou will reach 18, one way or the other. The good thing about time is that it doesn't slow down, so you will most certainly reach 18. All you need to do is hang in there.

You need to talk to your boyfriend and family about what is going on in your life, and that you will start taking anti-depressants. I think the anti-depressants will be a good thing for you, giving you some time to breathe and mature. However you only know yourself what is best for you. The problems you have now might not go away on their own, unadressed. You will need more time in councelling and sort out your life.

Everyone goes through hard times, and you are stuggling a lot at a very early age. But you will get through it, and be stronger from it. You have the willpower that it takes, you have a goal, and you really really want to be better and mentally and physically ready.

I think you got what it takes, you need to keep your eyes on the goal and think positively. Take small steps, one day at a time, and give yourself the time you need to get ready for your dream job.

You will reach 18, you might not have everything you want at 18, but they will come in time. Do not think of yourself as a failure if you can not be 100% perfect. No one is 100% without a flaw. We all stumble, and have problems in our lives. So maybe you need to take some pressure of off your shoulders and do the things you are able to do, and not try and change what you are not able to change.

Best of luck, and I hope what I said made any sense.

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