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I feel like I made a mistake but I'm doing all I can to make it up to her, why is she still acting this way?

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Alright ladies. I need a little bit of help figuring this one out.

So my wife is a big fan of the twilight series. (big surprise right?) Anyway, I was on my way home from work around 6:00 and I told her I wanted to take her to see it tonight. There was a showing at 7:00 but she suggested going to the 9:15 showing since it would be packed, etc.

I said alright. I got home around 6:45. While at home she asked at what time I thought we should head over there. The theater is 10 min from our home.

While she was asking me this, I was on the computer, trying to budget out our money and pay the bills. I always do this. She never has to worry about money at all. If she needs some, she asks me which checking account to take it out of and that's that.

I suggested around 8:40. She thought 8:30 would be better. I said that was fine.

So we end up leaving the house around 8:25. Get to the theater around 8:27 actually (I looked at the clock). Sure enough, there was a huge line and the tickets were sold out. So she gets upset with me. She says, "I told you." To which I reply, "baby, we left the house at 8:30 like you suggested." She replied, "I wanted to leave earlier than 8:30!"

I didn't say anything sensing a fight ensuing. In my mind though, if she wanted to leave earlier. We could have. All that needed to happen was for her to say, "hey, I really don't want to miss this showing, can we leave now?" That would have been the end of it.

What did I do wrong here? I know some people are going to say, if you knew it was that important to her you should have been there super early. Keep in mind we live in a small town of less than 30,000 people. And we did leave early. We were at the theater 45 min before the showing.

That's not the worst part that bothered me. So the drive home she doesn't say anything. And I even tell her, "I'm sorry baby, I really wish we could have got to see it. There is a 10:00 showing if you want to go to that one. We can wait here."

She replies, "No, i have to wake up early tomorrow." We get home and she starts to clean. I try to grab her in a loving way and tell her to "come here" so I can hug her. She gives me a half ass hug and ignores me.

I try again, and she says, "What?! Just leave me alone for a couple of minutes!" I get she's upset about the movie but what did I do to deserve that?

So I leave her alone and we are in different rooms for 10 min, then I hear the shower come on. She is taking a shower alone, even though we ALWAYS take showers together. I feel like I made a mistake but seriously? I tried doing all the right things here.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2010):

You were just unlucky. That's all there is to it really. 45 minutes early is still pretty early, to be fair. She was probably just annoyed that she didn't get to see the film after making effort to go out. It happens. Chalk it down to experience, and next time go earlier. It wasn't really anyone's fault. You still arrived pretty early, and at the time she suggested, so don't take all the fall for it. You certainly didn't do anything to deserve the fire-breathing dragon experience. She was just annoyed. You win some, you lose some. You lost this one.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010):

you didnt do anything wrong. She'll get over it and be fine. She's a bit spoiled and things didnt go like she wanted them to. Its pretty typical, just leave her alone and she will come around. :) mal

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