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I feel like I lost my good friends, to each other!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2010)
A male India age 30-35, *asked_Man writes:

Hi,

i'm an engineering student.About me: A sentimental, and always wanted to joy person.I kept my 5 school friends as my best friends,one of them is more closer to me!Even more than,my college friends,family; i trusted him,i love him. While, in college i had a new friend(girl-just friend);then she too become a good friend.As well u know i introduced them,then my school friend took her contact no from my mobile without my knowledge.they both even don't tell me but started chatting.then, he start moving away from our group of 5.Later only he told me about this,but i didn't take much care about it.After, a month he called me and INFORME that,they started loving each other for last some days.She even didn't told it to me!

But, now they both not even mind about me! in the gap she changed her contact no, she even didn't inform me still now.But, i can't tolerate any more.I think i lost my good friends.One day i asked him about these all he told"Don't talk about my personals" i was shocked. Still, i'm acting as smiling face with other, all my mates, and other were teased me about them,but i didn't take care about it. But, now i think i fooled! Wt could i do? How could i overcome from this! Or error is mine!? you know, whenever i met them them they just behave as nothing happend?!

Help me!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010):

No of course you didn't do anything wrong. This sort of thing happens all the time! You have a mixed circle of friends and sometimes two of those friends will get together. It's quite normal. What is not so normal is that they now ignore you. Is there anything about this that you are not telling us?

To be quite honest, I also find your response to their relationship somewhat extreme. You sound jealous - were you in love with the girl? You stated she was just a friend, so in your male friend's eyes she was free to date. However it was wrong of him to get her number from you without your knowledge. Perhaps your true feelings towards this girl show and that is why they are avoiding you and being rude? They might see you as a threat and that will affect the friendship you have with them.

I do understand how difficult it is when friends distance themselves from you, however when two people get together, they often see less of their other friends, and of course you are bound to feel left out, and even more so if you were close to both of them. Not much that can be done about this. You have to accept it and let them be. Not everyone will want to talk about their private issues, not even with a good friend, so don't push it. Just move on, have fun with your other friends, meet new people and let these two have their relationship. Good luck.

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