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I feel like I have a lot of problems, but no one to talk about them with...

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

Every normal girl can talk to someone. Their mum or their dad or even their sister. Not me. My dad is lovely though. I accidentally wind him up a bit. My sister is only kind to me when she's not on MSN or with her friends or basically never. My brother died and through that time I know this sounds really mean but my mum got all the attention and no one even asked me if I was ok.

I was so upset and no one was taking any notice. If I even dare to bring that up, my mum says 'how dare you be so rude?' and stuff like that.

I'm really fat and one day my mum is really sympathetic and says 'oh I'll help you. We will buy special foods'. I can talk to anyone about my problems. I can't talk to dad (He would take it the wrong way) I can talk to mum because she is probably going to say that I'm faking it. I can't talk to the school nurse ( who is a counsellor) because my old school nurse told her that I put things on a lot. I only did it so I could get out of school.

I really struggle with all my work and homework. My attention span is very short. I've tried talking to my friends but I have none. Apparently all of my "friends" tel' me that my "friends" have been talking about me behind my back. I can even talk to myself because it makes me cry. I'm worried for when I start my period or I get my first boyfriend or anything like that. I definitely cant tell my sister then because she'll tell all my "friends" at boarding school about it.

I'm really stuck for what to do. I can't do anything without getting told off. I'm seriously depressed and really angry inside but I don't think I can bottle it for longer. I've been ill for the past few days and my mum won't take notice. Please Help me. I think I'm going to have a major breakdown soon. Help.

Jess

xx

View related questions: depressed, msn, period

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2005):

Growing up is so hard, and it sounds like your experience is so much harder than even most.

First, it is so sad that you can't talk to your family members. I think it's important, though, for you to understand why. It is NOT because they don't love you. It is NOT because you are doing things wrong. It has NOTHING to do with you. It sounds to me like everyone close to you has experienced a lot of pain. When people are hurting, they don't act the way they should. Mothers and fathers should always be there to support their kids - to care for them and nurture them - in a perfect world. The thing is, parents aren't perfect, and you are having to learn this earlier than you should. Your parents love you but are too caught up in their own pain to be able to help anyone else. The "friends" you describe sound as if they are too caught up with the general pain of adolescence to be mature enough to support you in the way you need. It sounds like you have a lot of pain - you need a very strong person to be there to support you and help you through this difficult time.

Go to an adult that you trust, even if you don't know them well. A teacher, a minister, an aunt or uncle or friend of the family. It doesn't matter who it is. The only important criteria is that the person you choose has to be someone who hasn't been dealing with all the hurt that your family has gone through. Find an elderly neighbor if you can. Just find someone and ask if you can talk to them privately. Sit down with them and tell them everything you've said here. Tell them you need someone to help you - someone to support you through your pain in a way that you think your family can't, since they're dealing with so much on their own.

Going to a counsellor would be a great idea, but that can be hard to do on your own - it sometimes costs money, and it sounds like you're an age where you don't have transport. For this reason, I think you should talk to your school nurse. I know you think you can't, but you can. What you need to do is this: go by her office after classes let out one day, so it's clear you're not trying to get out of any work. Tell her you would like to set up a time to talk with her, maybe before or after school. I'm *sure* she will meet with you. When you meet with her, just show her what you wrote here -- print it out and give it to her. She will understand. It is what counsellors are trained to do - they're trained to know the difference between a play for attention and a cry for help. Trust me. Do this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2005):

im so sorry to read about that just let your anger out and all your tears out and see how you feel after if you feel worser go to a counciler who has nothing to do with school go to them 3 times a week speak to her about everyting thats happening in your life ok

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (30 November 2005):

Hello there,

It sounds like your feeling very bad at the moment, and from just reading that I can understand why. Firstly dear, eveyrone in your life is just plain idiots. They don't treat you very well or seem to care for you. (Now this is not your fault either, ill talk mroe about this later). So no wonder why you can't talk to anyone. Its not that you CAN'T talk to anyone, its that there is no1 worthy in your life to talk to. They all make you feel exstremely bad. If i was you i dont think i could talk to them either.

You dont feel as though u can trust anyone, or have anyone who cares and supports you, which is somethign evyerone should and you deffintly deserve it. I think you seem liek a very good person, but you're just in a place where everyone is hurtful to you. Its not your fault ok.

What would u do if there was someone who would listen to you, understand your feelings, and help you through them? do u think u could open up 2 them?

You said you feel depressed and feel like your going to have a breakdown any moment, you must feel very overwhelmed and for you to describe your feelings as such being depresed im thinking seeing a counsellor would be a very good idea. Counsellors will treat you well and help you through your problems and if you are depressed, depressed in a way that would be diganosed, there should be certain treatment like medicine and/or thearpy to help you get thorugh it.

My advice to you is, go to your doctor and tell them you are feeling depresed and would liek a referal to a counsellor. Or call a help line. Search for a help line number on the net near you.

Let me know how this goes and if you have any further questions, im here for you :)

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