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I feel like I don't have any control over what happens to me.

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Question - (9 October 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I want a job so badly and I have had no luck finding one so far, and it's breaking my heart. It breaks my heart that I want so badly to have a better life, and I know I deserve good things, but I feel like no matter how hard I try, I don't have control over it. I feel like I can't change my luck, no matter how hard I try, and I feel helpless and powerless.

I was teaching English in Mexico but I returned to USA after the school year. My family needed me, I needed them. I have been putting in for jobs left and right, but I keep getting rejected. I've put in for jobs at over 70 places, but I've only gotten one interview. I don't understand why I keep getting rejected for jobs I'm qualified for, when I've applied online and haven't even been to an interview. I feel disheartened, worthless, like a loser. I would like an ESL teaching job and I've applied to those, but I'm at a point where I need to grab SOMETHING just to make money until I can get my dream job. I've been turned down from banks, retail stores, restaurants. Even McDonalds and grocery stores won't hire me. Last week, I was rejected from volunteering. I can't even give away my labor for free. But there are plenty of opportunities for others.

I have experience, I have skills and education and it seems like employers would want me. I have a college degree and I speak perfect Spanish. I've never been arrested or even had a ticket. I've done everything by the book and I feel like I deserve good things. Then I look at my cousin who got arrested has a high-paying job and I don't, and it makes me angry. Understandably so. His high school dropout girlfriend was able to find TWO jobs and I have a college degree and I get turned down for literally everything.

I can understand it isn't easy to get your dream professional job, but I just took it for granted that if you just go and ask for it, you could get a ''crummy'' job like retail or something.

I feel so bad about myself! No one cares about my problems. No one seems to think that I'm worthy of a paycheck. No one thinks I'm good enough to be hired to do something. No one thinks I'm important enough to be employed or smart enough to get paid to do something.

What's wrong with me? No one wants to give me a job. Why don't people think I'm worthy of a paycheck?

I feel like I don't have any control over what happens to me. I feel like I'm powerless to change my luck and that I try and try and it doesn't change things.

View related questions: cousin, money

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHave you tried using Monster (or something similar)?

http://www.monster.com/

Unfortunately there are more people looking for jobs then there are jobs.

Don't give up though.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (10 October 2013):

Maybe you need to hire a job coach or whatever they're called. Borrow money if you have to.

There's obviously a problem, but the problem isn't you as a person. Maybe your resume sucks, who knows? McDonald's isn't going to want to hire you unless your desperate because they know you will leave the second another opportunity arises. Same with most retail and other low wage, low skill jobs. My wife had the same problem. Unfortunately, there are some trades that just don't have a lot of opportunity right now, often because of reduced government spending.

But, there may be other jobs that would be good for you if you knew where to look. Type "spanish" in the search for many jobs websites.

Maybe your town is just devoid of jobs that you're skills are tailored to.

Just keep reminding yourself that you're not the problem and you're not the only one who's going through this right now. Since the economy tanked, the real recovery is on the stock market more than jobs. I've been there, my wife's been there, and millions of other Americans, (billions worldwide) have been there.

Maybe you should start by listing all your positive traits as a reminder that an employer would be lucky to have you. Be thorough and it may help you feel better.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (10 October 2013):

Hi there. I understand the difficulty you are having in finding a job right now.

We are still living in a depressed economy, and I don't really think we have come back much since 2008.

So you are teaching English as a Second Language.

Well one thing is for sure, English for many years now is the UNIVERSAL language of the world.

Perhaps you are looking for this type of work in the wrong places.

When you do your online job search, if you are not already doing this, well then you do need to do an advanced search, so as to become very SPECIFIC in your search.

Rather than to generalise.

Because ideally, to work in ESL teaching, you want to be searching in THAT area, and anything to do with language.

Perhaps you could even be calling the government colleges, like where they teach the trades, and many other professions as well.

In Australia, they are called TAFE. This stands for Technical And Further Education.

And they teach lots of different professions:-

(1) Trades.

(3) Computers, secretarial.

(4) Languages.

(4) Design, fashion, etc.

And much, much more as well.

You must have some technical institutions over in the USA that do this kind of stuff, surely.

And so why not call them up, where they teach languages, and ask about working as a ESL teacher there?

I really think it would be a much better solution, than simply applying online in the job seeking websites, where everyone generally looks.

I realize job seeking online, is certainly really easy, because you can do it from home.

However, you never really know how many hundreds of others are aplying for the same jobs.

It could be 200 or more!

And so what happens, is prospective employers probably have a cut off at about 30-50 and this is one of the BIG problems with job seeking on the internet, unfortunately.

And believe me, it happens to us all.

Whenever I have gone onto job finding websites, I always do an advanced search, to the industry and sub-industry to narrow down my search and save a lot of time.

PLUS, another important thing I do, is select a date for my search.

For instance, I might search in "today", or the "last 3 days", or "1 week", and this also saves a lot of wasted time sitting at your computer.

However in saying this about searches, I would be calling all the colleges around close to you, that you know teach ESL, and just talk to them about job prospects.

In other words, go right to the source.

No mucking around with job seeking websites, they can be just way too generalised.

You already know what you want to do, which is the ESL.

And so it makes really good sense, to call those colleges directly.

First though, do a search on the internet asking for - "Colleges in (whatever town and state) that teach ESL."

Then get the phone numbers and addresses, and starting calling them, one by one.

And have your resume ready and updated, to reflect all that you have done in your ESL career so far, plus any life experiences that are applicable to this - paid or unpaid - because they all count as well.

Everything that is related to teaching ESL, should all be mentioned in your resume.

I wish you luck.

Don't delay doing the search for ESL colleges - the sooner the better.

I really believe that getting in direct contact with the colleges that teach ESL, is by far your best option here.

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